Diggles

Not your father’s Beef Lord.

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Right. I’m done here. Catch you over on BS.

https://t.co/okEqiKW2Gx

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

The person who realised you can just lie about “higher than usual call volumes” instead of hiring enough staff deserves to be slowly penetrated by a Rhino.

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

I love this time of year. The leaves turning. The chilly nights. Digging out my jumpers. The stench of rotting pumpkins on every street.

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Amazing.

[Stephen Gibbons @Gibboanxious]

Columbo is so big in Japan that there’s a series of books and TV movies titled "Columbo of Shinano," featuring a detective who dresses and behaves like him. I've no idea what he's saying in this clip, but I can guess.

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Surfacing from my honeymoon to briefly laugh my cock off at Oasis fans. The thick end of £500 to watch those? You fucking deserve Ticketmaster and surge priced Hotels.

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Happy Saturday to everyone expect the person who decided that whenever you ask your Google speaker to ply a song on Spotify it will choose the shittiest live recording it can. To you, whoever you are, I hope you get sand under your foreskin.

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

I’m beginning to think I could lock George Clarke in a hotel room like in Old Boy and he’d come out after 15 years and call it an “Amazing Space”.

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Remember kids:

Gammon & Coke = Delicious.

Gammons & Coke = Cunts.

#TheMoreYouKnow

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

@PortsideSully @RuariOToole Good night, Sweet Prince.

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

We’ve had a harrowing weekend of Fucking Around, so I’m very much looking forward to this week’s theme of Find Out.

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Bronze for Team GB! I take partial credit for my insights on over-rotation and the like. #TeamGB

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Smashing a sausage sandwich and having strong opinions on the 3m synchronised diving. We are so back. #Paris2024

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Fuck me. Wrap it up lads. I need to be up early for the rowing heats. #OpeningCeremony

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Paris, furious at not having the Olympics for 100 years, petulantly make their Opening Ceremony last an entire century. #OpeningCeremony

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

You stand for peace but still let Israel compete. Gotcha. Lip service. Fucking cowards. #OpeningCeremony

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

God I hate this fucking song. #OpeningCeremony

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Gojira are fucking class. And that staging was metal as fuck. Most metal Olympics ever? #OpeningCeremony

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Assassins Creed: Paris 2024 is looking pretty sweet. #OpeningCeremony

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Fuck me.

[Diggles @EstebanSemtex]

Know what’s mad? Bisto have a calorie per serving notice on the jar. And the serving size? 50ml.

If I made a meal that required gravy and gave you 50ml of it, I could be tried for a crime against humanity.