KB

No smart people use the internet

[KB @ETown1996]

“Wait wait, I have a point…”
-Me, about to say the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard in your life

[KB @ETown1996]

@RingerVerse @VanLathan @charlesxholmes @JomiAdeniran I love y’all, I truly do, but Beaches not being MENTIONED let alone drafted is an all-time fumble

[KB @ETown1996]

@SeanFennessey A perfect 10/10 A+++ self-own, well done 🫡

[KB @ETown1996]

@VanLathan The Espresso Martini ones are trash. Basically a can of Yoo-Hoo with caffeine and booze.

Highly recommended.

[KB @ETown1996]

@SeanFennessey @TheBigPic Relay is the best action movie of the year, plz squeeze that in.

Also - Weapons deserves a proper episode w/ CR.

[KB @ETown1996]

@VanLathan You talkin’ WEAPONS? 🧐

[KB @ETown1996]

@chaos_orbison SUCKS TO SUCK!!!! 🤪

[KB @ETown1996]

@chaos_orbison An incredible reason to come pack to Tweeting or I guess Xing

[KB @ETown1996]

My kid: I just pooped out my pizza
Me:

[KB @ETown1996]

Or birds

[KB @ETown1996]

Yo it’s 2024, why the fuck do we still have bugs?!

Fuck space travel; all the top scientists should be working on a plan to permanently eliminate all bugs.

[KB @ETown1996]

I’m also not a big fan of fishes

[KB @ETown1996]

When I close my eyes, it’s you I see (derogatory)

[KB @ETown1996]

2 for $5 Jr. Whoppers is such a bummer special cause 2 for $5 Whoppers wasn’t really that long ago.

2019? Maybe even 2020?

[KB @ETown1996]

I asked my kid to get the mail. He came in and said “nothing, just political stuff” and instinctively threw it all in the trash.

RAISING 👏 HIM 👏 RIGHT 👏

[KB @ETown1996]

If it’s only a $1 surcharge on your dumbass website for extra dressing, then guess what motherfucker? I AM ORDERING EXTRA DRESSING.

[KB @ETown1996]

@kwadkins Literally me

[KB @ETown1996]

“So it’s 1997 and I’m working as a sound engineer in Buffalo, NY. This band Snapcase comes in and they sound pretty good, but it’s missing something. So I say ‘hey guys, just an idea, but instead of a snare drum, why don’t you try this tin can…”

[KB @ETown1996]

At some point in my retort I said something like “it’s not my fault you’re like this!”

Doesn’t land well. Divisive energy and tone.

[KB @ETown1996]

Had an interaction w/ my wife that resulted in her shouting “THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE!”

Not ideal!

[KB @ETown1996]

My 7-year old: *farts twice* was that you?
Me: no, that was you
My 7-year old: well if that was me, then I farted 14 times today