stuff Evie says

threenagers say the silliest things.

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

[context: learning archery] Evie kept shooting the arrow high. But she reasoned that the current target is where a kid would be. “I would be hitting adult hearts”

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

Context: juju is finger painting and the output is not up to his standard.

Me to Juju: if you get upset, then I won’t play with you later

Juju’s response: then you can’t be my dad~

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

I farted in the ocean because I like how it tickles my butt. #notSoYoungEvie #13yoLife

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Evie talking to her mother about all her body blemishes, ie birthmarks, during dinner): did you drink when you were pregnant with me?

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Yeonu): sometimes when i pick my nose and it’s slimy, I just rub in in my hands and let my skin absorb it. #childrenAreGross

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

Evie (at Altro Paradiso): this restaurant is fancy because the lights dim. (Also has high ceilings).

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Evie rapping about me):
he’s peter
He’s fat burger eater,
Sometimes his butt is so big he has to ride a kid’s 3 seater,
He’s peter,
He’s so fat his belly stretches across a meter.
He’s peter.
#burned

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Evie singing a Justin Beiber song) “i got my peaches out in georgia~ i got my *weed* from california~”
(Me) “what did you get from california?!”
(Evie and Yeonu respond same time) “ i think wheat”
(Me) oh… 😅

#ChildhoodInnocence

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Evie talking with a low voice mocking me): hi, my name is peter and I have a big belly and a big butt — I kinda look like a zig zag. #burned

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Me talking about a public seat at an auditorium): thousands of people have sat here and of those hundreds have probably farted. (Evie sits on chair and farts audibly): a hundred and one now. #keepItClassy

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Me): did you know flies have hair on their legs. (Yeonu): I know it’s because they’re mammals #onechildleftbehind

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Evie talking about my Dad Bod) you’re not fat, only your belly is fat... and your butt... But you might actually be average, because all old men are fat... #observant

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Mom complaining about dealing with newborn in middle of the night). Yeonu: “good thing I’m not you!”

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Explaining how babies are made — sperm is in boy peepers and eggs are in girls and once they meet the sperm fertilizes the egg) so, to make a baby a boy’s and a girl’s peepers has to hug? 😬

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(After rubbing my cheeks) I’m used to touching soft skin, but after touching your skin I was like woah.

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Me:) coffee stains your teeth, turns it brown. (Evie:) ew, you’re gonna look like a homeless person.

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

Another old quote when Evie was 3. (To me): “my life is better than yours”

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

Found an old quote from Evie when she was 3. Abouy our living room: "it smells like pee pee here. Did someone go live under a bridge and come back here?"

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Yeonu): I don’t want to call it junk food anymore. It has the word junk in it and that’s like trash. Because I love candy! #soTrue

[stuff Evie says @Evie_thinks]

(Talking about tasting coffee for first time): I know what coffe tastes like because i know what it smells like. (Pause) Just like I know what my pee tastes like because I know what it smells like. 🤔🤢