\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/

Supreme Dark Lord of all and every comedy, #NumberONEComedyAdvice Parody accounts are the highest form of comedy. Punch in every direction! We are philosophers

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

1) If your joke doesn’t work it’s always the audience’s fault. Yell at them for not understanding comedy. They don’t. The peasants never will. #NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

HARSH WRITING ADVICE: you will never be as good as me

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

137) Perform as close to the edge of the roof as possible! Even in 2020 you need to TAKE RISKS! WE ARE THE TRUTH TELLERS! #NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

@Curtis_Cook The false prophet was never your ally. Look only to me, the greatest #WRITER of all time.

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

@plzbepatient YOU ARE AN INFERIOR GARY

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

137) If you are an important comic with credits, you can still exercise your right to bump people from Zoom shows. Zoom bomb the show if they refuse! We still live in a society!
#NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

136) People need comedy now more than ever! Start going door to door in high rise apartment buildings asking people where they are from, commenting on their race and asking if there are any couples in the room. If they get mad, say you’re from the census!
#NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

@RJCity1 1) Me
2) Also me
3) I am the greatest writer of all time

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

135) If you’re truly concerned about getting Coronavirus from a mic stand, try dunking your hands in corrosive acid! You can’t make skin contact with no skin! #NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

134) Festivals won’t let you in unless they KNOW you’ll put everything on the line to be there! This is why you should take out a risky high interest personal loan to pay for submission fees and send them the confirmation paperwork. Have fun in Oklahoma!
#NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

133) Great comedy comes from downward spirals! If you’re starting to resent comedy and feel yourself slipping, it’s important to drag as many people down with you as possible! Not everyone gets to have a self-hating destructive existence-share the wealth!
#NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

132) Celebrity death jokes often fall flat because you don’t have time to workshop them. This is why you should workshop celebrity death jokes among fellow comics and then murder the celebrity when you are sure they work! #NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

131) Choose the candidate best for YOU. If you can’t do a good impression of them, are they really in your corner? #NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

@painunbound @Hark_itsHannah THE BAGS ARE TEMPORARY. THE SCOURGE OF ALL COMEDY THAT IS NOT MINE IS FOREVER.

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

130) The plastic bag ban is in effect in NYC. You know what that means! Start offering out of town comics spots in exchange for bags of bags. We don’t need comedy! We need BAGS. #NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

129) Clowns are back in! Don’t ask me how I know, I just do! If you want to close out strong, slowly apply clown makeup for the duration of your set and make sure you finish EXACTLY when you say your last punchline.
#NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

128) Success is the best form of revenge! This means you should view any success that another comedian has as a personal attack on you.
#NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

127) A great way to get to know a comic you’ve never met that does crowd work is to sit in the front row during their set! Don’t worry if their act falls flat when they find out you’re a comic-they’ll respect you asserting dominance in the room! #NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

@FamilyBRY worships a false prophet and cannot be trusted. You saw an inferior #WRITER in New York. You will see me in Hell.

[Originally From Detroit @UnPeuParfait]

@EvilGulman Just watched your HBO special. I'm sure you've heard this before to the point of boredom, and had it said so much better. But. I used to see you in NY when I used to visit every year. You were always funny. But now you're helping people! And even more funny. Thanks.

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

126) You’re never too old to start comedy! Just make sure that all of your material is about being too old to start comedy!
#NumberONEComedyAdvice

[\m/ EVIL GARY GULMAN \m/ @EvilGulman]

125) Releasing content on a consistent schedule to retain your fanbase is for #AMATEURS and #FOOLS! Just DM high school acquaintances on Facebook asking them to share your content and you’ll be the forever mayor of VIRAL TOWN. #NumberONEComedyAdvice #HeyyyyyLongTimeNoTalk