SAB

Rap enthusiast, sports tragic, world weary, world wary.

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

@thesammyhannah If you feel anxious or upset, just go outside and eat an orange. (It has never let me down. Gives your hands something to do, vitamin c, sunshine on your skin, and something in your likely empty stomach)

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

Every bride dreams of walking down the isle to be met by ‘whatttssssup’ #MAFSAUS

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

@augustfallin Fish are the silent victims of divorce 😢

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

It starts with a wall. It always starts with a wall. Leave. #MAFSAUS

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

Awarded? Awarded? Cousin Steve should speak less of his mind! He can barely pick a suit at his ‘tender age’… #MAFSAUS

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

@artpunkamor One white dude called Michael - thats it

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

@AppleTV should have everything. EVERYTHING.

How do you have the same 15 options you’ve had for the last year? Don���t you own the world?

Or did you log yourself out too?
Fk this.

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

Trains cancelled at Bayswater en route to city. Passengers told ‘if they could find alternate transport, that would be great’ okay @metrotrains … where and how??? There’s about 80 of us stranded in the rain at this station alone.

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

Shout out to alarms for working event when you’ve left headphones in. Such a simple thing, but such a lifesaver. 👏

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

Thank you Ivanka Trump for ruining blue velvet blazers for all of us for the rest of time.

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

You’re either a stick Dyson or a Roomba. If you’re the latter you’re a psycho. Catch.

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

After not seeing my pet parrot for a month, he told me to ;fkoff; dunked himself in a bath of water, dried himself off in my hair and then dove down my top to sleep.
Ain't love grand... #parrotthings #birdlife #lovebirds

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

People with the names ‘Todd Zilla and Rodd Zilla’ just got called to their flights and I’ve never been so happy for people to have names. Cheers guys…

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

I am sitting at a cafe drinking rosé at midday, laughing at memes and a woman across from me is doing exactly the same thing. We have met eyes and acknowledged this; life is good.

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

‘Crutches aren’t going to stop me having a good time, I’m still dating’

‘they should be a reminder for you to have less of a good time …’

God I love my girlfriends ❤️

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

They said maybe!!!

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

#afldeespies what’s a little lightning to ruin an end of season game in true Dees style … #finishthemsowecangohomeandeatcheese

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

Do it all again next week

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

The one consistent in life is that you will always choose the wrong direction to pull roller blinds.

Worst design ever. Definitly not user error.

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

@chadmannprojx So deeply confusing

[SAB @EvilStephMum]

Musk sticks are a very polarising scent