John

[John @EylerJohn]

Excited to see Bama wipe their ass with UW

[John @EylerJohn]

W

[John @EylerJohn]

@EylerJohn funny thing is...still went out for bottomless Mamosas with wet pants

[John @EylerJohn]

Someone pissed my pants last night #FessUp

[John @EylerJohn]

Mom went to a comedy club last night. Woke up this morning to a phone called that started with a penis joke instead of a hello...

[John @EylerJohn]

It incredibly sad and heartbreaking what a few people can do with so much hate, but imagine what the rest of us could do with all our love

[John @EylerJohn]

(Vine by GOLF) https://t.co/XsNuPGCZet

[John @EylerJohn]

I'm embarrassing

[John @EylerJohn]

Blacked so hard last night

[John @EylerJohn]

Started my morning off by rudely parking next to a girl who decided to give the dude in the passenger seat a blow job. #Interupting

[John @EylerJohn]

@nacobson let's meet up soon!

[John @EylerJohn]

I fucking LOVE spending $700 every two or three months on "new" phones when it's just the same fucking thing. Guess I could stop dropping em

[John @EylerJohn]

If you don't like the way I drive get off the sidewalk

[John @EylerJohn]

Have you ever put so much food in your mouth that you have to pinch your lips with your fingers just to keep it in? Yeah me either..

[John @EylerJohn]

@KrisSato and they're 3 times as expensive

[John @EylerJohn]

Everyone needs some alone time. (Vine by @AFVofficial) https://t.co/eIsMhQsRnK

[John @EylerJohn]

The human body is mostly water. Therefore, we are just cucumbers with anxiety

[John @EylerJohn]

Ahhhhh China Town. Where you could call it Japan or Korea Town and I would just smile and knod

[John @EylerJohn]

@ashleeylockhart idk why this made me laugh

[John @EylerJohn]

When your so hungover you can hear yourself blink...