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Come for the dumb jokes, but stay for the contrarianism. If I was a bot, I’d have more followers.

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@wirecutter Whoa black betty…

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@GOVUK You should have followed your own advice, mate…

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@EssentialBusin7 @KrownCityKing @nicksortor Please…tell us your secrets, Nature Boy Dick Hammer…

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@ChimpMega @johncusack

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@Andy9375 @BuenoForMiami @ExtremeArturo Dude…she’s not gonna go on a date with you.

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@yungkiryu @IGN This is the way…

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@monstahorst @DestinyTheGame Having the same issue…no challenges available - tried everything outside of deleting/reinstalling. I’m on an older XB1X, so I’m wondering if it’s something to do with that?Whatever it is, it’s not fixed and it really sucks, bc I actually like IB 😤

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@RealMattCouch You misspelled “Instigator” on your bio, bub 👍

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@ethank @Kantrowitz Sounds like you’ve taught your kid well…we should all be more critical of millionaires that help people. I can only imagine how relieved the 1001st person on the list felt when they realized they wouldn’t be getting free surgery from a rich YouTuber.

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Year three is when I start exclusively posting butt pics. #MyTwitterAnniversary

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@Jankem69420 @WendellPierce

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@DownbeatDFW @badkaratemovie Balis, Yes! You just gained a listener! ❤️⛈❤️

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@GameSpot well, I wanted a hot dog and guess what no hot dogs. 1/10.

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@FoxNews When you bring your kid to work, you’re supposed to let them watch you work, not let them write and publish articles.

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@nypost We need to talk about Ezra…

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This headline belongs in a museum.

[New York Post @nypost]

Man who grew penis on arm wants to date Kate Beckinsale https://t.co/ics2BQz575

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@guideforlovers Not feeling the crippling effects of pants without pockets.

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To celebrate @elonmusk buying Twitter, I’m gonna buy some Skittles and not throw away the orange ones. I don’t like them, but they can stay. #FreeSpeechForAll

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@nbc A mask, apparently 🤔

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@libsoftiktok If that’s Hancock Park, there’s a very good chance that’s the nanny, not the mom, which is kinda worse in a way…