Fake Bobby Carpenter

The life and times of the Cowboys' lovable loser linebacker

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Have been drinking @TheQuarterBar since noon. About to drunk dial Jerry. #NO TRADE #SAVEBOBBY #PROBOWL

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

I'm not really gonna b traded...Jerry just wants to scare the O line. Despite what @SexyFootballFan says. #bobbycarpenter #probowl

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Prolly straight up trade for Bradford. I'm that good. @dmn_cowboys: Cowboys in talks to trade linebacker Bobby Carpenter to St. Louis.

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Only ugly big girls talk to Sean Lee. I have video proof here --> http://bit.ly/aVOsUL #SeanLeeSux #BobbyCarpenterForever #cowboys

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Why would we draft a linebacker when you already got me? Uh oh... #bobbycarpenter #cowboys

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Seeing me is a grand view. RT @AdamFitzsimmons Just saw Bobby Carpenter hanging out in grandview. That was interestying. #success #cowboys

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Follow Friday: @FakeBCarpenter #ff #me #bobbycarpenter #bemyfriend

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Saints won super bowl. We beat the saints. Therefore, we are the super bowl champs! When's the parade!?! #cowboys

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

The chicks always remember me: RT: @Hannah_Rose18 ... On a slightly related note, I met Bobby Carpenter when I was in 8th grade.

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

@niketalksports Happy to answer your question. The media loves me because of my sweet ponytail and striped dress shirts. #answer

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

@whatsawoogie takes one to know one...#bobbycarpenter

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Watching pro-bowl from a Chili's in Dallas. Can't believe I wasn't even on the ballot. FML. #probowl

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

The State Of My Union Is Strong!

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

WTF?! RT: @UnderOneDollar 2009 Topps Magic #196 Bobby Carpenter - Ohio State / Dallas Cowboys (Football Cards) $0.81

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Didn't even get a "get well soon" card from Jerry or Wade after my shoulder surgery. Romo sent flowers...to my wife.

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Thanks for the great season. Start growing out your ponytails right now. Next year will be even better.

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Thoughts on me moving to fullback next season? I can run pretty fast and can pass block and finesse block for Felix?

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

A couple more series and then my career season I've been having is over...sad bobby. :( #bobbycarpenter

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Wonder if Prince will perform at halftime since he's the only famous person from this crap state.

[Fake Bobby Carpenter @FakeBCarpenter]

Damn horn sounds like a Ricola commercial....riiiiiicoooollllaaaa!