Fake Ben Polis

Fake Ben Polis is the kid who was always meant to fail.

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Awkward back at #EnergyWatch since misunderstanding. Lots of apologies & no eye contact. However I accepted them all. Moving on. #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Internet says #RobertMugabe fighting for life in a Singapore hospital. Praying for you Bob, you hold in there, get well soon. #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Looking forward 2 get back 2 work tomorrow. Been a wild long weekend but think the worst is over. Hopefully get my Easter eggs now #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Been talking 2 #BenCousins on the phone, about how best 2 stay low. Poor guy has a terrible cold, could hear sniffing & snorting. #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Been reading a bit about Jesus. He was persecuted because of a few things he said - and his brand is now stronger than ever. #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

First night in Miami & caught up with good pal #MatthewNewton. After a few cups of tea it was already 8pm so I called it a night. #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

So upset with Siri. Imagine my surprise when I found what the voice to text feature has been writing on Facebook. Bad iPhone. #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Is it to late to claim I was dehydrated? #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Rang girlfriend service to order one for tonight. They now want danger money & we're not allowed to go out. Talk about a rip-off! #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Think the cleaning lady is upset with what I said about her on Facebook, if giant floating turd left in sink is anything to go by. #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

I have a real medical condition. Those people who say I have "Small Man Syndrome" are wrong. Actually "NC". http://t.co/GqQ3Zdde #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

@godwingrech Hey I'm free 4 lunch on Monday, you just have to promise to not talk about @_KRuddMP for the first 10 minutes. Okay? #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Had break through with Therapist. Apparently WORDS HURT. For this week I have 2 work on not making Quacking sounds when she talks. #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Bruised after lunch meeting with Gerry Harvey. He asked what was I going to do now. I said probably again with online selling. #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Thinking going overseas until stuff blows over. Somewhere more peaceful, beaches & no social media. Syria nice this time of year? #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

@pennygubby2 How YOU doin'? #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Settling in 2 watch Melbourne V West Coast. Here's 2 a good game. On a related note, anyone want some used "EnergyWatch" stickers? #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Went jogging 'round Docklands 2 clear head. Getting good at dodging half-eaten food thrown at me. Let softdrink hit me 2 cool off. #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Sent email to Alan Joyce 2 see if I could borrow Qantas PR department for a spot of damage control. No reply yet, but I'm hopeful. #benpolis

[Fake Ben Polis @FakeBenPolis]

Just back from giving my confession. Asked the priest if it would work, he said "Sure, why not. Give it a crack. You never know." #benpolis