Fake Fred Smith

[Parody] I'm not the real FedEx Frederick W. Smith. Call me Fred. I won't always reply, but neither do my employees. Share your experiences via #FedExWhat

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@Jaycee_Foran @FedEx Thank you for choosing FedEx. Merry Christmas!

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@Tav_Fox Probably that package we lost 2 years ago that someone finally found chewed up under a conveyor belt somewhere.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@MeNoHABLA Yeah girl, that's the spirit!

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@Bettercallshawn I admire your confidence that we're even coming today.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@RUBIX_3_1906 @FedEx @UPS If we ring the bell, you bitch. If we don't ring the bell, your neighbor bitches. Y'all can't have it both ways.

[N nix @Nnix19]

@juan_and_only34 @FedEx Sorry, but that's what they do best.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@constantinelens @_heyyymscarter That's going to be so rancid by the time we manage to deliver it.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@green_knight1 @FedEx I objectively reject the notion that we ever intended a commitment to excellence.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@_MNmisfit @MilenaAmit @sobey30442 @jeremiahs2021 @POTUS Here's to hoping your new job pays you enough that you can buy eggs now.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@Nnix19 @OohDatsSunni @FedExHelp Honestly, calling in isn't going to get you anywhere. Those agents know nothing more than you do. @FedExHelp looks like they're on the case, and rest assured we'll only leave half of the items out in the rain next time.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@porshadeun That shit looks heavy? How'd you expect one guy on a truck to get that onto your front porch by himself? Getting it that close is going the extra mile, we could have just left it at the street.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@RonnieLuceroNM @FedEx Any time Ronnie, thank you for your business and Merry Christmas!

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@elonmusk Can I put my name in for that job?

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@Delta Our lost and found to pick up some new Christmas presents for the family.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@David010701 @A_S12 @CNBC Technically, I don't do the hiring anymore. That's Raj's department.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@KJ22310191 @FedEx @FedExHelp Have you seen the news? We can barely afford gas for our trucks anymore, let alone humans to answer the phone.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@insidertranspo I still can't believe I left Raj in charge. Coming back strong as the internet CEO of Fedex.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@CroesusH @zzcinnonzz @joshAallday @LaserShip @Nike @UPS @FedEx Finally, someone agrees with me that we're not the worst delivery company- Laser Ship is worse than us.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@SquirtLagurski @SquawkStreet @jimcramer @carlquintanilla Holiday uniform code.

[Fake Fred Smith @FakeFedExFred]

@adamanything I guess you’ve never had anything delivered by Laser Ship.