Fake Gus Hansen

I'm just your average sexiest man of the year/multimillionaire/#1 ranked womens tennis player dater.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

From what I saw @catehall did not give just the tip. She gave @Mikunbelievable the full 11 inches.

[Adam Schwartz @ASchwartzPoker]

Poker people, let's find out who the comic genius behind @FakeGusHansen was. Reveal yourself and bask in the accolades you deserve!

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

Apparently Paul Pierce loves the flop. AMIRITE???!??

[Sarah Herring @AuntyChardonnay]

Talked to @GusHansen about his parody account @FakeGusHansen today http://t.co/8JgD7m2Zk6

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

My strategy for the Main Event is the same as for when I go to the club. Conservative early but at the end of the night any two will do.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

What One Drop chip leader Rick Salomon lacks in final table experience he makes up for it with penis length.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

I throw my chips into the pot like I go to the urinal-Two Handed

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

Negreanu just said he plans to finish the day with 300k. I plan to finish the day with 3 Spearmint Rhino strippers and a bottle of Dom.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

Felt obligated to make my 2014 WSOP debut in the $50k Players Championship, considering they named it after me and all.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

You can't spell Cantu without ....well you know.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Until they see you flexing your muscles on TV or on magazine covers. Then you're paying child support.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

@AllAmericanDave @gaucho2121 @DanOBrienPoker @DWBenefield @brianchastings after that how about the "Gus"?? 1 banana and 576 cherries.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

Skipped the Millionaire Maker because... well I'm already a fucking millionaire.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

A heads up to those in Negreanu's 25k fantasy draft tonight. I'm only playing a handful of events so expect only 2 or 3 bracelets from me.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

Ladies-if you were impressed with Sorel Mizzi's breaststroke DM me. Gus

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

Smoking marijuana is just as performance enhancing to an NFL player as would reading a Phil Hellmuth book be to my poker game.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

I haven't seen results as impressive as what Ole Schemion has done of late since the last time I googled myself.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

Liv asked me if I wanted to buy a piece. No thanks, had that years ago, and it was free.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

Congrats to @VictoriaCoren for becoming the only two time EPT champion that I have reached third base with.

[Fake Gus Hansen @FakeGusHansen]

#EPTVIENNA. They put me on tilt by saying I was only double than average but then I later found out they were talking chip counts.