Fake Jack Parker

College hockey legend. Hobbies include yachting, throwing players under the bus, and berating refs.

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

Now that, arrr, Jerry's had eye surgery, arrr, will he finally embrace his inner pirate, arrr, and wear an eye patch?

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

No but seriously, this is all quite disturbing.

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

Who says you can't score from the penalty box? #amiright

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

@Mysie9 @MikeMoran11 @MatttOConnor @skurker9 @smag31 @MLaner21 I'll bring my yacht down. Time for y'all to bond over some barnacle scrubbing

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

It will be interesting to see how UMass does this season as the first college team to play without having a coach.

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

UMass is getting what it deserves. Shouldn't have fired Toot. Where the hell do they expect to find someone else who WANTS to be in Amherst?

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

Beautiful day to take the yacht out for the 1st time. Boys did a fabulous job scrubbing & waxing. Next time I may even take em out on it. Jk

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

I love softball! As long as I can drink during gms RT @emilyroesch Hockey season's over. Maybe u should focus on other BU teams #BUSoftball

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

UMass Lowell... forever BU wannabes. http://t.co/3yxEaE9Y

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

Should just end that after baby. RT @FakeJerryYork Gionta is so adorable, he's like a little baby hockey player

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

Chris Drury for the Rangers, Tom Poti for the Caps. <33333 #bucciovertimechallenge @buccigross

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

Before you ask- no, I can't explain why Jack Eichel chose us over BC either.

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

Don't worry, folks. I have contacted Mike Grier, and he will be administering menacing glares to everyone who made racist tweets last night.

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

That's what I'm saying. RT @FakeMarkDennehy: I think we owe Jack an apology. Not his hockey team that's the problem, it's the entire school

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

I'd like to thank the Daily Free Press and BU frats for showing everyone that it isn't just hockey players who do stupid things.

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

I'd like to offer my sincerest congratulations to Jerry... Ah, who am I kidding? This fucking blows.

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

I hope we don't have a repeat of 1976 and get into a brawl with Minnesota. We'll be overmatched. All our bad boys are in jail. :(

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

@FakeTootCahoon Thanks for the lesson. I always get all you bottom-feeders mixed up.

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

"I would not feel so all alone, everybody must get stoned!" RT @BOShockeyblog: Things that happened today: Jack Parker quoted Bob Dylan.

[Fake Jack Parker @FakeJackParker]

@BOShockeyblog Dont believe @SahirGill28. He really does beg to play C all the time. Phone calls in the middle of the night, the whole 9 yds