fakeCharlieMotz

Parody and Satire account of public figure running for Constable of Precinct 1

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

Well let me tell you. These records requests cause me great distress. The way I see it is the past is the past. Just because I may have done some unsavory things In the past it should not affect my “Masterplan”. Motz 2020

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

I hate records requests!

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

Day 8 get divorced again. Day 9 start the search for wife number 7. Day 10 plan a trip to Vegas because I will be lonely by then.

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

Mountain breeze needs a ton of my attention next summer.

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

Day 7 take a nap. Now that’s cowboy AF!

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

Need more followers. I should shake some hands on the river this weekend. Get some eye candy too 😜👙.

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

Day 6 appoint a Chief Deputy Constable that will make a good wing man for me at the Pourhaus. He will need to be a real “go getter”.

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

My motto is “slow but sexy.”

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

@dmacroberts Sure. Constables are elected officials. We hang out at mixers and get seen. It’s all about being seen. There is other stuff we do but my interns will do all that.

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

@dmacroberts I am into whatever music that is playing when I am with a woman. I like all types. Mainly blondes.

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

Being a detective was fun. Almost as fun as band camp!
#arefluteswoodwinds?

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

Campaigning is crazy. I had to eat bad pie in a pie eating contest. I have eaten worse pie in my life though😉 so naturally I won.

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

My thoughts in being a Detective. It’s not about closing the cases as much as it is looking like a Detective and making sure everyone can see you strut.
#struttingrules

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

My 100 day plan continued. Day 4 convert Constable Office into a gym leaving room for a beer pong table. Day 5 find Interns to man the beer pong table and handle any work that pops up.
#coedsknowallthebestparties

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

Want to thank the folks at urban dictionary. I appreciate your support.
https://t.co/kI1dZXzMSq

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

Courtesy Service and Integrity. Stands for CSI. Picked these three to accentuate my detectiveness. “I” was the hardest one to think of. I almost used “Inactive”. Was advised against it. #thankstommy

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

Once elected I have a plan for my first 100 days. Day 1 help Ben find his car. Day 2 order tighter jeans. Day 3 disable the “e tone” buttons on Constable radios.
#tighterthanwayne
#orangebuttonssuck

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

1 day on Twitter and three followers!!! Not one ex girlfriend or wife either. Winning!#duckinganddodging
#SherlockMotzforprez

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

But I don’t need Startsville to win the election anyway. All I need is some hot women in bikinis and “ Vote Charlie” signs.

[fakeCharlieMotz @FakeMotz]

I want to be your Constable/Alarm salesman and all around good guy. I don’t really know how to get to Startsville anymore but I have a GPS.