Chris Kennedy

[Chris Kennedy @FastNewton]

As I go back through my records, it’s very apparent when I went through my “colored pens” phase.

[Chris Kennedy @FastNewton]

@jmartinsimmons My fans yearn for content... every 2 years.

[Chris Kennedy @FastNewton]

@jmartinsimmons Wow. Neither side has the market cornered on ignorance.

[Chris Kennedy @FastNewton]

This year, I hope my mouth writes checks these hands can’t cash.

[Chris Kennedy @FastNewton]

You ever wonder if celebrities get mad when they see their faces tied to some bullshit quote they didn’t say on a meme? #celebsarepeopletoo

[Chris Kennedy @FastNewton]

@jmartinsimmons It took the iron bowl for you to realize this?

[Chris Kennedy @FastNewton]

Got home and noticed my clocks are finally set to the right time. Thanks, #Nate

[Chris Kennedy @FastNewton]

My married bod would probably look a lot like my virgin bod.