Ben And Carolyn

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

Last night

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

Y'all boys ever worn shorts on a spring day and then later regretted that decision?

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

Homeless woman w/ beard screamed at me on the street this morning on the way to buy milk: "INDIA TURNED YOU INTO A MONKEY!" #benorcarolyn

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

Just witnessed a little old lady chest bump a huge homeless dude in the middle of a #streetfight Future looks bright for @carolyn_gilliam

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

coryjharrison's photo http://t.co/hlxKJ5CZhG

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

Going through one's bank statement for the entire year is very enlightening. #alotofbagels #alotofbars #taxes

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

larzfrmarz's photo http://t.co/j1KU2C1pYa

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

Happy New Year to our bridge and tunnel friends! I hear 2014 is the Year of the Frat!

[Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman]

U can get away w murdering someone in plain sight w double-fisted punches to the heart if ur screaming "Live, dammit!"

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

Sneaking out quick before the server sees I left a shitty tip. I'm a #terribleperson

[eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone]

Our greatest resource as a nation are our shame based confessions to loved ones in cars.

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

Don't ah... Don't make your tinder profile quote something #racist.

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

Just occurred to me: Kicking a guy in the #nuts is just like shooting that one spot on the #deathstar.

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

#Grindr for gay guys. #tinder for straight people. Does that mean there's #scissor for lesbians?

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

#Movie idea: Undercover Bro. A #douchey guy gets recruited to infiltrate a frat with ties to the mob. #Tagline: The Right Tool for the Job.

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

beastofeden's photo http://t.co/K3hHHruHhB

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

Carly Rae Jepsen is starring on Broadway. How's that BFA feel now?? #callmemaybe

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

Just wrote a new #joke that includes #rape AND #ricepudding. Can't wait for the open mic tonight @LaughingBuddhaC

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

#Confessions http://t.co/7ulf7uRObj

[Ben And Carolyn @FatEndFirst]

Just favorited and retweeted myself!! #fame #benorcarolyn