Fat Heron

Emails with personality. Clothing with attitude.
Some rude, some questionable, some probably unnecessary.

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

Fat Heron is officially live.

Boring email addresses have had their day.

Funny, rude, sarcastic and slightly unhinged emails are now available at:

https://t.co/euigARSSCH

Your inbox deserves a personality.

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

Your email address probably came from one of three places:

Your name was available.

Your name wasn’t available.

Or you made a terrible decision sometime around 2007.

There is another option.

https://t.co/3C5wPMh54Y

Emails with attitude.

#FatHeron #FunnyEmails

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

Arsenal fan:

“I’m being completely objective.”

Narrator:

He was not.

#Arsenal #FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

[email protected]

Born red.

Raised hopeful.

Now completely unbearable.

https://t.co/3C5wPMhCUw

#Arsenal #COYG

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

Supporting a football club is a completely sensible hobby.

Until 11 strangers ruin your entire weekend.

#Football #FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

Plans cancelled?

Oh no.

Terrible.

Puts kettle on

#Introvert #FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

Current status:

Not angry.
Not happy.
Not interested.

[email protected]

#FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

Finish this sentence:

“I knew I was getting old when __________.”

Best answer wins absolutely nothing.

#FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

You don’t choose the grumpy life.

Someone starts talking to you before coffee.

#FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

Some people wake up cheerful.

Some people own:

[email protected]

Know your audience.

https://t.co/3C5wPMh54Y

#GrumpyBloke #FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

“Are you grumpy?”

No.

I’m delightful.

Everyone else is annoying.

#FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

People: “Cats are independent.”

Cat owners:

Feed me.
Open this door.
Close this door.
Move off my chair.
Wake up.
It’s 4:17am.

[email protected]
At least the email is honest.

#Cats #FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

Normal email addresses:

tony.smith8472@

Fat Heron email addresses:

[email protected]

One of these tells a better story.

https://t.co/euigARSSCH

#FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

Your boss:

“We really value everything you bring to the company.”

Your salary:

“Apparently not.”

[email protected]

https://t.co/euigARSkN9

#WorkHumour #FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

You can permanently delete ONE from existence:

Meetings
Group chats
Mondays
“Can I pick your brain?”

Choose carefully.

Fat Heron
#FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

https://t.co/euigARSSCH
Emails with attitude.

[email protected]

For people who know bulldogs are not pets.
They’re small, stubborn landlords with breathing issues.

Gift it to a bulldog person.
They already know who’s in charge.

#Bulldogs #BulldogLife #FatHeron

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

https://t.co/euigARSSCH
Emails with attitude.

[email protected]

For Arsenal fans born red, raised hopeful, and currently enjoying life as champions.

Gift it to a Gunner.
They’re unbearable already.
Make it official.

#Arsenal #COYG

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

https://t.co/euigARSSCH
Emails with attitude.

https://t.co/p5AvvdmvpU

[email protected]

For people with a packed schedule of absolutely nothing.

A perfect email address for someone very busy not being busy.

https://t.co/euigARSSCH
Emails with attitude.

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

https://t.co/euigARSkN9
Emails with attitude.

https://t.co/DcE0LoBc4P

[email protected]

For the person who says “I’m not miserable” with the face of a wet Tuesday.

Send it to a mate.
They’ll grumble.
Then use it.

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

https://t.co/euigARSSCH
Emails with attitude.

https://t.co/D4vdL4Km1f

[email protected]

For the colleague with a spreadsheet full of reasons and zero completed tasks.

HR probably won’t approve it.
Which makes it better.

[Fat Heron @FatHeronWorld]

https://t.co/euigARSSCH
Emails with attitude.

https://t.co/fRBFfTShZF

[email protected]

For anyone who opens an email, reads it twice, and still has no idea what’s happening.

Finally, an address that tells the truth.

https://t.co/euigARSSCH
Emails with attitude.