Rob Ryan

Defensive coordinator for the New Orleans Saints and terror for local buffets. I'm not like Rex, I hate feet. Hands on the other hand... NOT really Rob Ryan

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

ndamukong suh RT @DouchyTomBrady: #BradyPollQuestion Who is my favorite Mortal Kombat character?

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

Who the f*ck is Steph Curry? Sounds like a fat chick. I like fat chicks. *BELCH*

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

I bet an Ikea corn dog would contain actual dog.

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

They need a dating website for food. *BELCH*

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

Corn doesn't digest and comes out in your poop. You know what else doesn't digest? Car keys. #DontAsk

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

Food for 4 RT @kfc_colonel: Finish this sentence: "My best friend and I walk into KFC and order _________.

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

Is it appropriate during my interview with Manti Te'o if I ask him if he's a "Peter-Puffer"?

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

Ikea's meatballs contain horse meat? No wonder they're so damn good. Mmmmm.

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

Aaaaaaannnnnnndddddd I still can't find my d*ck. You try making knuckle babies with a gut blocking the way.

[Colin Fauxherd @FauxCowherd]

"I have a cash annuity but I need cash noooooow"

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

@DouchyTomBrady Hey Tom *BELCH* I heard something about...boobs at the #Oscars ? Did I miss some tities?

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

So the new "Annie" is gonna be black? Who's playing Daddy Warbucks? Channing Tatum? #OscarsRedCarpet

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

*BURP* when's the race on? #Daytona500

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

When I was at the movies today I dipped my popcorn into some nacho cheese. #MindBlown

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

I wish they'd let Asians compete in NASCAR, sweet Jesus think of all the great wrecks we'd see! #Daytona500

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

Did that split-tail Danica Patrick make it through the whole race? *BELCH* I'm sitting at Dennys right now and there's no tv #Daytona500

[NOTSportsCenter @NOTSportsCenter]

HISTORY: Danica Patrick becomes first woman to drive an entire lap at the #Daytona500 with her right turn signal on

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

@CockyBelichick #WaysToMakeSexAwkward dropping your sandwich.

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

I f*cking love bacon. Is it possible to just deep fry a whole pig?

[Rob Ryan @FauxRobRyan]

I swear to God I'm gonna find whoever keeps stealing my Cheetos. #AssHat