Firefighter Humor

Playful humor of the fire service, as well as thoughts and insights. These tweets represent no FD.

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

Why does cleaning the station toilets always make you have to poo??

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

Typical C shifters....

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

For all the tech rescuers out there: what’s your standard baseline PPE for extrication? I’m seeing FR gear, Dickies-style, or just long sleeves?

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

Nurses: super offended by what Senator said. Paramedics: Welcome to our world...

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

@jumpseatviews Blowies

[Firefighter Wisdom @FFWisdom]

Dear kids pumping your arm to have us honk our horn as we drive by:

We enjoy it just as much as you, never stop.

Sincerely,
The American Firefighter

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

Each FD has 3 types of shifts. One bonds over brotherhood, another bonds over bitching together, and the last enjoys their separation and time alone.

[Tim @timinator42]

@FFHumor Properly functioning door remotes are like unicorns. Heard of them. Never seen one.

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

Is there such a thing as a FD with properly functions garage door remotes?

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

2018 statistics are in. Hurt feelings has trumped back injuries as the #1 workplace injuries in the fire service.

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

I’ll spend 1/3 of my life in this firehouse. 1/2 of that time will be spent cleaning up after and fixing the fuck ups of B shift

[Firefighter Wisdom @FFWisdom]

Why do we still put "Dial" 911 on trucks when no one would know how a dial phone works anymore?

*Call* 911

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

@FFWisdom And enough recliners to go around, with respective outlets

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

@EVPIsrael @gaza @FirehouseNews @FireChiefMag Nah, that’s Chicago

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

I used to be an avid straight streamer... then I got an enlarged prostate.

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

I think our firehouse needs one! https://t.co/8Or9jkgZvd

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

Firefighting is like sex... you gotta get up in there to get the job done

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

First in, last out.... of the kitchen

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

Firehouse fridge: “no name = fair game”

[Firefighter Humor @FFHumor]

Well I'll be a monkey's uncle.... Lit off like a Roman candle. Police tried to play firefighter and put it out.