Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪

A Nanyuki-based blogger appearing on the other social media platforms under the same name.

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

@WakeshoMakio Njoo Nanyuki.

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

@ItsGregy_ Brake.

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

Approved.

[I fvck w people selectively @kotparkland]

I highly recommend going for an interview a little bit drunk. The level of confidence after a few shots of liquor is unmatched>>>

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

@kogerozz Unadai ako na spinach instead?

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

@JoelJirane Business.

They import cheaply from China using their personal companies, pay using our taxes, get their cut, then give the things to raia.

Profit + bonga points = politician.

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

@nyorude Ezekiel Mutua hakuona hii.

[Kimathi M'Rintari @KimathiKE]

Opening X (Twitter) immediately after waking up to check the state of the world is basically our generation's version of our grand fathers reading the newspaper every morning.

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

If it takes 162 MPs to pass important bills, do we need the 300+ of them?

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

@LemayianLeiyan Ilikuwa ni mimi. Ulibaki na 5 bob yangu. How do you wish to settle that debt?

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

@LydiaGetange So it was you? Ulirecover?

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

@archiemwas Last I did that, it felt good.

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

@JudyAlice_K I can imagine you with a kiondo of fruits.

[Metty🇰🇪 @Nexttoyou_fm]

Dear @SafaricomPLC munaweza nipea loan ya 10M nibuy nyumba za rental halafu muchukue rent Hadi murudishe pesa zenu ndio muniachie nyumba?? Just asking ju nyi husema "SAFARICOM IS FOR YOU" 🤔

[S writes 📝 @WrittenBy_SS]

My white coworker Jen wanted to come to a Nigerian party with me. I warned her three times. "It's not like American parties." She said she's been to weddings before, she'll be fine.

We get there 8pm. Invitation said 6pm. She's confused why we're not "late."

I explain we are late. We are early-late. The bride hasn't even started getting dressed.

She watches an aunty walk in two hours after us in a full outfit, gele standing taller than the DJ booth, and get applauded like she just landed a plane.

Jen leans over. "Is she... important?"

"No. She's just on time for Nigerian time."

Then the spraying starts. Money flying everywhere, people dancing into the pile like it's their job. Jen watched a woman bend her knees and spray three different denominations without missing a beat of the song.

Jen tried to participate. Pulled out a twenty. Approached like she was tipping a valet.

An aunty grabbed her hand mid-air. "Not like that. With confidence."

Jen sprayed the twenty so hesitantly it just kind of fell off the bride like a leaf giving up.

The DJ asked if there were any special guests. Someone pointed at Jen. She got pulled to the middle of the floor and handed a microphone she did not ask for, to say something nice about the couple she met forty minutes ago.

She said "they seem really happy together" and the whole room erupted like she'd given a TED talk.

She left with no shoes, a stomach full of jollof, and the firm belief that Nigerian aunties could run the UN.

Anonymous

[Prof Makau Mutua @makaumutua]

FACTS about the COMPENSATION Program.

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

@JoelJirane World Cup is taking away their jobs?

[DismasWaTabu @DismasWaTabu]

The next parliament will be full of jokers if Kenyans are not careful. We might end up having the likes of Kanyari in parliament. But as we say, parliament is a reflection of the choices people make.

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

@maundu001 Kuna jamii ingeturepresent FENCING.

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

When you allow X to translate for you.

[James Orengo @orengo_james]

"Orengo ndiye jembe!" Hiyo ndiyo kauli ya Mama Ashu na akina dada kutoka Mombasa.

[Fidel Jesus™ 🇰🇪 @FidelFidel6]

@orengo_james Who's the hoe again?