Brian P.

Wall Street home & work. Married.

[Aaron Paul Sullivan @apsullivan]

Actually, it’s only existentialism if it comes from the existentialism region of France. Otherwise, it’s just sparkling anxiety.

[whis_pea @whis_pea]

Don't touch that, it's a load-bearing delusion.

[Monét @monetxchange]

Imagine coming for trans people when your entire body is a billboard for gender affiming care. @NICKIMINAJ…IMAGINE!

[Carey O'Donnell @ecareyo]

The Suez Canal Bank rebrand event in Egypt

[M.B.J🍒 @_embijae]

Calling on God to ensure I'm placed in the 2026 wealth and health package not the life lessons and toughest warrior package

[John Gallagher @earlymodernjohn]

OK, I'm hiding in my pantry. What next?

[Brian P. @FiDiBrian]

Look how much I learned on Duolingo in 2025! How did you do? #Duolingo365

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles https://t.co/cHBBE8f6JS

[Emily Gould @EmilyGouldNYmag]

Great Depression indicator

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

If the number 666 is considered evil

25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

jury duty is a wild concept. whenever the government wants, they can just be like “call off work bestie, we need you to solve a murder 🥰 here’s fifteen dollars.”

[Mayo(They/Them) @SingularMayo]

when the sandwich starts getting messy so u gotta start eating it from the back

[Raphæl de la Ghetto @ilovesmick]

All these white people mad about Kendrick Lamar’s Super Bowl performance… I hope next year they get Bad Bunny performing the whole set in Spanish.

[a🌟 @parisandior]

romanticize your life, take pretty pictures, feel like the main character, light up a candle, read books, go for a walk, dance to your favorite music, buy yourself presents, do whatever you want, be happy - this is your life, don’t let anyone take it from you

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

Does Not Rhyme
-through
-cough
-though
-rough
-bough

Does Rhyme
-pony
-bologna

[Bill Zanetti @BillZanetti]

Just in time for Halloween season, Spirit Airlines has filed for bankruptcy.

[Mike Bogacz @bikemogacz]

this has all the top three american pastimes: eating burger, filming content, and being hit by a car

[trash jones @jzux]

a poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me

[Brian P. @FiDiBrian]

I won 40 coins at Hog Slots! Why not try it out for yourself? Join Receipt Hog and get your first 5 free spins to start with! Enter code kir56301 while signing up to earn a special bonus when upload your first receipt. https://t.co/GyLzF2tFka