Ideal day in the life of a Hyrox athlete:
- wake up at 6am
- cold shower with imagine dragons blasting
- breakfast: gel packs and pedialyte
- compete in Hyrox, place 85th in age group
- film tik tok in parking lot with racially ambiguous friends
- go home and bang gay lover
am i sure the death star is going down? look at my quant. look at him! you notice anything different about him? look at his eyes. i’ll give you a hint—his name’s a fucking number!! he doesn’t even speak english—it’s all beep-boop shit!! yeah, i’m sure.