Danger McBarley 🚬

webcomic - // movie reviews - // I'll stop tweeting about Star Trek when I'm dead

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

Yeah I serve my boyfriend supper every night but when I'm crabby with him I give him the shitty fork

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

@AWFULfanPOSTERS This is good tho

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

Gay the pray away

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

@bitterkarella Also it goes without saying but fuck joss Whedon

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

@bitterkarella "Oh you like horror movies? Have you seen Cabin in the Woods, it's soooooo clever"
-- people who dont watch horror movies

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

A moment of silence for all the bisexuals who ended up dating cishet men

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

@Emmakillerkate

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

@Emmakillerkate Unbelievable

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

What's the point of dating a tall man if he won't pick me up and carry me around like a baby

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

I put in a nose ring after 12 years of wearing a stud and it looks HOT as FUCK but I gotta say it makes picking my nose a lot more challenging

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

@Emmakillerkate I laughed for like 10 minutes

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

Watching a movie with the bf and a large cornfield appears in a shot

T: yeeah, I'd say there's probably children in that corn

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

@Emmakillerkate I wont rest until the typical scientist in a movie shifts from some perfectly made up person in a lab coat looking at test tubes to a jackass in sweats making spreadsheets And eating hotdogs

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

@Emmakillerkate I mean it would be a more accurate depiction of what scientists do

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

@Emmakillerkate Are siblings people?

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

@Emmakillerkate If my life were a movie people would turn it off during one of the scenes where I make spreadsheets for three hours

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

@taykayhite Same

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

@Emmakillerkate Sometimes I think he does it just to make me mad lol. I make him cook his own beef coz like, a cow died to make this steak no way I'm disrespecting it like that

[Danger McBarley 🚬 @Fingerwitch]

My boyfriend, eating random dirt from a city garden: YEah I'm a PuNK

My boyfriend, when offered a medium-rare steak that I cooked: I dunno, shouldnt you do it well done because there might be worms