Navy friend: "The best and worst idea in the history of the US Navy. Imagine being 20 years old, having 9 months salary cash and pulling into Thailand...I might fly out there and join them."
He's getting gas. He swiped his card. Make him enter his zip code. Now his pin. Ask if he wants to apply for a credit card. Now ask if he wants a car wash. Now cancel the sale, hit him with "please see cashier"