My unpopular opinion is, we give men the script, when women say "I need a man who brings me flowers, takes me on dates....."
Men sit down and take notes.
Because we are living in an influencer's economy, yes we might not much adore even the flowers or the dates (maybe a little bit introverted with preference to indoor activities like indoor games and food orders) but we end up internalising the "script"
The pretender will come well red with the general idea of what women love and he will meet a lady who yearns for the scripted dating life.
If you dare let him in he gets bored with the pretence and before you know it he is just showing you who he has been all this time and whenever you gain the clarity and want to leave he'll simply just go back to his notes on that section he noted down "how to apologise to a modern woman"
Then the cycle continues until you are just a shell of yourself glued to him with the fake apologies of roses and expensive dates and promises of a better person.
Every woman has met a pretender with a script "how to date a modern woman"