Flex

Female bodybuilder | God first | The best is yet to come

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

The hard truth nobody tells you about bodybuilding…🚨

For years, I thought being tough meant pushing harder.

If I was exhausted, I pushed.
If I was hungry, I pushed.
If my body hurt, I pushed.
If I was sick, I pushed.
If my body was screaming at me to stop, I convinced myself I just needed more discipline.

But there’s another part of my story that I can’t leave out.

I became addicted to steroids.

I ran cycle after cycle. Some were more extreme than others. I stacked things together without truly understanding—or caring about—the consequences. I was young, obsessed, chasing a physique and a feeling that I couldn’t get enough of.

The truth is, the extremes became a high of their own.

I loved being muscular.
I loved being lean.
I loved the vascularity.
I loved looking strong.
I loved seeing what the human body could become.

I know that isn’t everyone’s idea of beauty.

But it was mine. It still is.

I’m not going to pretend I suddenly hate bodybuilding because I’ve been hurt by it. I don’t.

I’ll always be Flex.

I’ll always love muscular women. I’ll always appreciate the veins, the muscle, the strength, the absolute insanity of pushing the human body beyond what most people ever thought possible.

That part of me isn’t something I can just switch off.

But I have to be honest about what that obsession has cost me.

Years of hard dieting.
Years of pushing my body to extremes.
Years of cycles.
Years of ignoring warning signs because the goal mattered more to me than the consequences.

And somehow, through all of it, I’m still here.

I’ve been incredibly lucky that my heart hasn’t stopped.

But I also have to be honest enough to say something terrifying:

If I keep pushing my body the way I have been, there may come a point where luck runs out.

This isn’t about vanity anymore.

It’s about life or death.

And that’s a fucking hard thing to admit when the thing you’re being asked to walk away from is also the thing that has given you purpose for so much of your life.

Because I don’t know who I am without it.

I don’t know who I am off cycle.

I don’t know who I am when I’m not training.

I don’t know who I am when I’m not counting food, chasing a pump, looking in the mirror, trying to get leaner, trying to get bigger, trying to become something more.

I honestly feel completely lost right now.

And that’s probably the hardest truth I’ve ever had to say out loud.

I’m trying to find myself underneath all of this.

And it has been fucking hard.

Because the person I’m trying to find isn’t someone I recognize yet.

I know I’ll always miss the high.
I’ll always miss the feeling of being completely obsessed.
I’ll always want that next level.
I’ll always look at a muscular woman and think, fuck, that’s beautiful.

That probably isn’t ever going away.

But maybe recovery isn’t about becoming someone who doesn’t love bodybuilding.

Maybe it’s about learning how to love something without letting it kill you.

Maybe I can still be Flex without destroying myself to prove it.

Maybe I can still love muscle without sacrificing my health for it.

Maybe I can learn to eat without fear.
Rest without guilt.
Train because I enjoy it instead of because I’m punishing myself.
And eventually look in the mirror and see a person, not just a physique.

I’ve spent years building my body.

Now I have to figure out how to build me.

And honestly, I have no fucking idea how to do that yet.

But I’m trying.

Because I don’t want my story to end with a heart that finally couldn’t take one more cycle, one more extreme diet, one more push.

I want there to be a version of Flex who gets to grow old.

Maybe that’s the strongest version of me I’ve never met yet. ♥️

[Joey Swoll @TheJoeySwoll]

I was rushed to the hospital Saturday morning for my heart. It’s been a rough few days, I’m still here, but doing much better. Please send some love and prayers. 🙏🏼❤️

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

Some of my most cherished memories growing up were spent with my Gramps. Every spare hour, every day, every moment I possibly could, I wanted to be by his side. He was more than my grandfather. He was the father I never really had. 💕

My biological father struggled with drugs and alcohol, and I never had the desire to be around that. But with my Gramps, I had something different. I had love, stability, patience, guidance, and a man who showed me what a father was supposed to be.

I spent countless days and nights with him out in the fields. Learning to drive the grain truck, learning to run the combine, and soaking up every little thing he was willing to teach me. He taught me to drive standard, too, because he wanted to make sure I could drive just about anything with wheels. From vehicles built in 1940 to the ones rolling off the line in 2026, I learned to handle them all.

Looking back, I realize those weren't just lessons about driving or farming. They were lessons about life. They were moments that built confidence, independence, and a part of who I am today. And I didn't even realize just how precious they were at the time.

What breaks my heart now is hearing him say, "I'm not good anymore." Because in my eyes, he'll always be that strong, capable man out in the field, teaching me something new, showing me how things work, and making memories I would give anything to relive.

I know the days I have left with my Gramps are numbered, and that's a reality I'm struggling to wrap my heart around.

For as long as I can remember, I've dreamed of the day he would walk me down the aisle. I pictured it so many times. My Gramps, the man who stepped into a role that was never his responsibility but one he filled so beautifully, walking beside me on one of the biggest days of my life.

And now, knowing that day may never happen, there's a heartbreak I can't put into words 💔

I wish I could turn back the clock. I wish I could sit beside him in that grain truck one more time. Spend another night in the field. Listen to him explain something I've probably heard a hundred times before. I wish I could slow down those moments and understand just how lucky I was to have them.

If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to take more pictures, ask more questions, listen a little longer, and never take a single minute for granted.

Because one day, the ordinary moments become the memories you would give anything to have back.

Gramps, you may never fully understand how much you've shaped the person I've become. You gave me things I didn't get from my own father. You taught me, loved me, believed in me, and gave me memories that I will carry for the rest of my life.

I don't know what the future holds, but I hope you know that every mile I've driven, every lesson I've learned, and every bit of independence I carry with me has a little piece of you in it.

And no matter how old I get, I'll always be that little girl who just wanted to spend one more day in the field with her Gramps ❤

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

Remembrance Day 🌺

Taking a quiet moment to remember those who served, those who never came home, and the families who carry their memory ♥️

Lest we forget 🇨🇦

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

@unkonfined Amen. Well said. Also, love the neck tatt.

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

@CrashMetaX That’s one of a million reasons I love you dearly. 🥰

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

Always trying to help others ♥️

Forgetting he also needs to focus on his own health.

That’s what I’m here for🙏

To remind him that his life matters as much as everyone else’s ♿️

[Crash @CrashMetaX]

I've been living in a nursing home since 2020, i was just 33 years old.

My definition of a "wild" Friday night is staying up past 10 PM, getting extra snacks and having absolutely no responsibilities.

...until one of my nurses remind me i DO have responsibilities 😭

At this point I'm not getting older, I'm just becoming a limited-edition senior citizen with Wi-Fi ☠️

But all jokes aside.

I want people to understand something.

I'm STILL creating content, building a business, making money and making moves despite my physical limitations since my motor vehicle accident.

I can't physically do many of the things I once could, but that hasn't stopped me from pursuing my dreams.

I WANT TO HELP YOU PURSUE YOURS, TOO!

If you're struggling to get a business started, build a brand, promote your creativity, make money from your talents, or simply figure out how to take the next step in life, please reach out to me.

I'm not here to judge you, charge you, or tell you everything is easy.

I'm offering my time, knowledge, encouragement and guidance completely FREE!

You don't have to figure everything out alone.

Sometimes having someone who believes in you and who can help you find a direction really can make a difference.

I am " Crash"

I genuinely love to connect with people who have dreams they are working towards.

If you would like to see what i've been building you can view my website at:

Crashmetax .xyz

(Follow "CrashMetaX" on X, YouTube, Instagram, Tik Tok, KICK) ❤️

"The only disability in this life is a bad attitude"

God bless everyone of you 🙏

Don't be afraid to reach out.

I am always open to genuine conversations, networking, collaborations and helping someone take a step towards something better.

Your circumstances do not have to determine your future.

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

@CrashMetaX @unkonfined Written from the heart.

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

Somewhere between two lives, two stories and two very different journeys, Crash and I found something neither of us knew we were still searching for.

Love ❤️

Not the kind of love that promises life will be easy.

Not the kind that erases the past or magically heals every scar.

But the kind of love that makes you want to keep showing up.

The kind that makes you laugh again, dream again, feel again.

The kind that reminds you that even after everything you’ve been through, your heart is still capable of loving someone with everything you’ve got.

There’s incredible power in love.

It doesn’t change what happened to us.

It doesn’t erase our pain.

But it gives us something beautiful to look forward to.

I don’t know what my purpose is yet.

Neither does Crash ♿️

But together, we’re going to figure it out.

In the meantime, we’ll continue sharing our stories, our struggles, our victories and our faith, hoping that somewhere along the way, someone who feels lost will realize they’re not alone.

Maybe we didn’t survive everything we’ve been through just to live for ourselves.

Maybe there’s a reason our paths finally crossed.

Two people.

Two lives.

Two stories that ran parallel for years without ever meeting.

Until they did.

God isn’t finished with either of us.

And perhaps one of the greatest gifts He had waiting for us was the opportunity to find love again 🙏❤️

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

@CrashMetaX @MayMetaX @DDLTCG @doginaldogs @1061TheGOAT And having someone do all the work

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

@ActwithAlison Being able to live and work with your partner is a special bond.

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

The hardest rep in winter?

Getting out of that warm car 🥶

The hardest part of working night shift on the railway?

Pretty much EVERYTHING.

It’s exhausting 🥱

Getting out of bed, fighting the cold, and showing up when you’d rather stay warm under the blankets.

But then there are moments when you get to witness and capture God’s beauty at just the right time.

And suddenly, it’s a little easier to remember why you keep going.

God gives me strength 🙏

Motivation isn’t always there, but I still have to show up 💪✝️

What gets you moving when motivation is nowhere to be found?

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

@ROSEMETAX @CrashMetaX Thank you. 😊

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

Rest day, church day, gratitude day 🙏☀️

Whatever you're facing this week, remember: the best is yet to come.

Keep your head up and your heart open 💕✨

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

@CrashMetaX @doginaldogs @DDLTCG @TgaGrading @web3smb I noticed that too. As well as legs 🦵 lmao

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

@CrashMetaX @doginaldogs @DDLTCG @TgaGrading @web3smb That’s what love is about.

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

I was SO excited to get @web3smb 😂 I couldn’t wait for him to finally get a full art!

I honestly thought @mamabarkx was going to get pulled, and I would’ve cried because I want to pull one SO badly! 🙏

All around, it was such an exciting experience getting to see everyone discover and enjoy all the new art. That’s what makes these moments so special! ❤️

[Crash @CrashMetaX]

Sure, we've all opened a pack or 2 of trading cards...

But how many of you have opened a SEALED BOX before??

We are NOT STOPPING until we pull a chase card!!

😭☠️😭☠️😭

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

@CrashMetaX @veemeta @DDLTCG @TgaGrading @1061TheGOAT 🥹

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

@MayMetaX “Stay hard” ♥️ huge fan of goggins.

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

@CrashMetaX @moneymetaxxx @doginaldogs I’ve never seen the chair. It wasn’t hard to love you. 😘

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

@veemeta @CrashMetaX @doginaldogs I took it as you started prayer time actually.

[Flex @FlexMetaXx]

Good morning ✨

On our way to the card show this morning, we were lucky enough to catch Venus shining as the Morning Star, alongside the beautiful crescent moon 🌙

A little reminder that there’s beauty in the journey, not just the destination.

Here’s to an early start, good company, great cards and a beautiful day ahead❤️

Happy Saturday☀️