The Dirt Surgeon

2 time champion china virus #survivor | mover of dirt | concrete crustacean | you can vaccinate against covid but you can't vaccinate aginst these pinchers

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

Crying yourself to sleep is the big vibes #sadmasturbation

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

Thought I was dry heaving because I'm an alcoholic but really I just can't find a blanket in this house that doesn't smell like a deering sister.

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

Can we chill with tik toks of down syndrome chicks with fat asses?

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

Ma'am I'd like to sign a 1 year lease on that ass. (Respectively)

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

Hey @doordash can you add an option for a 5'2" latina with daddy issues?

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

No better feeling than eating popcorn while getting overserved with all your pals. #horny

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

I like women with a 5 o'clock shadow on that pussy

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

Making an OF but it's just me attempting suicide

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs but it's just me having a seizure at the family Thanksgiving.

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

I'm thankful for fat chick's on Facebook dating that don't want me to kill myself

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

An excerpt from a hangover. Is this present thing any good reason for my soul to be sick and out of sorts - humbled, craving, shackled, shying? Will you find any good reason for this?

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

A strong woman will not ask for a lighter load but a wider throat.

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

As much as I wanted Trump to win I was secretly hoping for massive election fraud so I could legally slaughter "politicians" wholesale style.

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

If minnesota goes red I give all credit to George Floyd. Thank you and may peace be with you.

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

A man does not grow and mature with age. He does it through pain, suffering, rejection, failure, and heartbreak. (I just call that Monday morning.)

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

Vikings fans: "this year feels different"
Ya cause you bought a new gun and the barrel tastes a little different.

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

If you're a man and your favorite season is spring you're a faggot.

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

You've heard of white boys for Harris, now here's brown boys for Harris. (Berating the waitress inappropriately) #illegal #immigrants

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

Can we talk about how Minneapolis got burned down because a crack head overdosed during an arrest? #robapregnantbitch

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

You gave up whoring for lent. George Floyd gave up breathing for fent.

[The Dirt Surgeon @Floundskeeping]

A fun fact about me is I can't cum before 11 am. (Not for lack of trying)