Folklore County PD

Offical Twitter Account for Folklore County Police Department *satire*

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

Sheriff Arnold “Arnie” Schultz has been suspended without pay following accusations of neglecting to beat his wife.

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

BREAKING: The shooter who tried to assassinate Donald Trump is dead.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

@PBCountySheriff This would never happen in our county

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

@StampedingNCali @LeadingReport *sucking noises*

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

@chitaglorya3rd @MrBeast @infobogor Ratio

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

Unlicensed possession of a uterus is a Class 1 felony.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

ATTENTION: If you wear any Band merchandise/ memorabilia, you will be asked to name three of their songs. Failure to do so will result in three months in jail.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

Victims of sexual assault will now have to have two witnesses to the act for it to be filed as a report.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

Owning or operating an Android is now a felony.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

We have elected to remove CPR training from out police academy curriculum. Our job is to take life not save it.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

Police shootings in Folklore County have dropped 63% this past year. This is a problem that we can not ignore.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

To raise fund for a new stadium on 7th St. There will be a 500% county wide tariff on all feminine products.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

Mayor Lecter has announced the reinstitution of Prima Nocta starting 02/01/2023.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

It’s illegal in the County of Folklore to give your pets more than 120mg of MDMA within a four hour period.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

PSA: Having someone riding in the trunk unfastened is an immediate $150 fine and the immediate execution of the passenger.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

Show your support to the Boys in Blue by purchasing Officer Johan’s Homosexual Novella “Officer that go down”.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

In lieu of Driver’s licenses, motorists are allowed to carry DNA Results showing they are not Asian.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

To show our commitment to promoting diversity in the Police Force of Folklore County. We have dropped the swim test portion from the hiring process.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

Due to the backlog in our judicial system. Mayor Lecter has appointed Judge Washington to expedite the trialing and sentencing of the accused.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

Short staffing in our department has led to the decision to give every criminal a “freebie”.

[Folklore County PD @FolklorePd]

Mike and Ike’s now banned following comments on mayor’s penis. Possession of Mike and Ike’s results in a minimum 8 year sentence.