Feeling pretty hopeless. I strive for things, acquire them, happy for a little bit until the wind is taken out of my sails. Try rekindling my happiness but it never work. I want to participate in groups, but I'm too socially r*****ed to do so.
I'm working a dead end job at 30, no retirement or healthcare/medicaid. Barely making enough money to survive, just relieving the money stress on my parents. I have to be aloof to just about everything, even if it blows up in my face.
Maybe my brain has been fried too many times from seizures, idk. U don't fit in anywhere, never have and probably never will. I've never gotten a genuine "how are you doing" irl... only person that does care for me is online but our timezones and schedules get in the way.
I want to do art, but can't find the privacy time. I live with my parents at the age of 30. I force myself into doing things anyways because I know it has to be done otherwise I get yelled at. I normally can't find a solution, again because I'm so r*****ed.