Fozzie Bear

Here I am, Fozzie Bear, to tell you jokes both old and rare!

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

I'm having trouble deciding what to wear for #StPatricksDay this weekend. You might say I'm stuck between a shamrock and a hard place! Ahhhh! Hopefully I'm lucky with laughs today. #WockaWocka!

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

What do you get when you cross a rubber chicken with a leprechaun? A clucky fella! Ahhhh! This one will make you laugh clover and clover again.

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

Wanna hear a joke I can only tell today? Here goes: What'd the tuba player say to his friend who asked him to go to dinner? "I'd love to, but I have to March 1st." Ahhhh! #WockaWocka!

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

I know most people think taking a nice Sunday drive is relaxing, but when I get home I'm exhausted! Ahhhhh! Get it? I think that joke is steer-ific! #WockaWocka!

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

@KermitTheFrog Oh great! You've got time to hear my new tree jokes. I've got some punchlines you won't beLEAF! Ahhhh! Don't worry, I branch out a bit too. Want to make sure my routine has good roots. I was stumped for awhile but then I thought of sycaMORE! #WockaWocka!

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

Did you know #ValentinesDay is on Wednesday? If you didn't, you should probably get a date book... and a date! Ahhhh! Oh, I need a date too... better make it a double! #WockaWocka!

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

My friend Chuckie thinks our ventriloquism act is too smart, but I disagree. Guess it's 'cause I'm no dummy... and he is! Ahhhh! His performance is a little wooden, too. #WockaWocka!

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

I think bananas are definitely the funniest fruit. There's just something a-PEEL-ing about them, don't you think? Ahhhh! Hope you SPLIT your sides laughing at this! #WockaWocka! 🍌🍌🍌

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

How lucky am I to be surrounded by friends who love to make people laugh as much as I do? There's nothing better than our hi-larious hi-jinks!

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

What do you call a Muppet fan site that's not run by real Muppet fans? BluffPigs! Ahhhh! #WockaWocka! https://t.co/enhcS1rIhk

[ToughPigs: Muppet Fans Who Grew Up 🐸 @ToughPigs]

@FozzieBear Muppet fan sites.

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

The best way to ring in a new year is with a few good laughs! Give me a topic, and I'll give you a joke to start your 2024 off in a hilarious way!

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

How do you wake a hibernating bear? ...Oh, I don't know the answer, I'm asking. My uncle borrowed my headphones and he's been asleep for months! https://t.co/0Hs49PCXju

[David @Wildtheinnocent]

@FozzieBear Hibernating

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

What do you get when you cross a bear with a pine tree? A furry fir! Ahhhh! This joke is pretty evergreen, don't you think? #WockaWocka!

[Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear]

Why are hat jokes funnier when you make them up on the spot? Because they're off the dome! Ahhhhh! What better way to CAP off this gag than with a #WockaWocka?