Frankeester

Tell ‘em, Large Marge sent ya

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

I think I might be related to Danny Devito ... like if u agree

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

Everyone needs a time out

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

Someone crop dusted me at Trader Joe’s and I’d like to speak to the manager

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

Honestly bring me a yoohoo chocky milk or don’t talk to me.

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

Yeah, but when’s the government gunna tell us about the Buttfor?

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

Are Danny McBride and Bert Kreisher friends?

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

10% Sloan from Entourage + 90% Dan from Roseanne

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

Leaving LB this morning was nothing short of playing red rover with thick brick Betties

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

Talk to the pals and gals about it

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

I’m having 3 coffees today, I don’t wanna hear it

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

@thejacksimpson You and I BOTH

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

People are in Mexico on vacation right now and it’s ruining my day

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

My watch just told me to go to bed so, I guess it’s time

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

@thejacksimpson Very “mom it’s not a phase” energy … but it’s definitely a phase

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

Cottage cheese is really having its moment right now

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

Okay just playing devils advocate here, if we’re bringing back 90’s fashion we should also be bringing back furbees

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

Mens talking about sports

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

Do you ever just, surprise yourself? I just burped at an octave so low I think I could sing baritone

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

Have a crunchy apple in the car, who even cares man?

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

I drank water instead so, yeah I’m feeling really brave

[Frankeester @Frankeester]

I only had one 32 oz iced coffee today thank you for coming to my Ted Talk