Fred MacAulay

Scottish Stand-Up Comedian.

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

I saw it. I said it. But I’m fucked if I can sort it.
Good work ScotRail.

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

@JimSpenceDundee We, and the rest of the Killin massive, said Grant-Lay.

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

@JimSpenceDundee FFS

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

Is ‘Gicetapo’ an actual word yet? If not, why not?

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

Timely reminder not to bother recording tennis on bbc…..

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

Scott McTominay!!!

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

@TReynolds_23 Thankyou lovely Tam. ❤️❤️❤️

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

Just sitting with my US state map enjoying these naturally occurring straight lines.
These happened many decades ago. A lot of years ago.

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

@thegregfleet Keep it going brother. Fred x

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

@MickFerry True story. I bought the alloys and still have them.

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

Can someone take Trump off for a golf holiday do we can get some peace.

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

@splodgexxx Old photo…..

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

Don’t think I’ve pushed this here ….still some tickets available…

https://t.co/Jdx2jpFbgu

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

@ch_talks_to Caught me out Craig…..I do g have enough traction on other socials to be able to ignore X. I’m weak!!!

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

A9.

Accelerating the project would lead to delay.

A Scottish Government Minister actually said this out loud.

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

@franhealy We’ll done foe owning up. Cracking set last night you guys.

[Headquarters @HQNewsNow]

Trump appears to be unraveling live on stage

“When I say insane asylums, and then I say, Doctor Hannibal Lecter, does anybody know? They go crazy. They say, oh, he brings up these names out of— Well, that's genius. Right. Doctor Hannibal Lecter. There's nobody worse than him. Silence of the Lambs. Who the hell else would even remember that? I have a great memory, but they always hit me. I don't bring it up too much because they have to take such a— he brought up Hannibal Lecter. What does that have to do with this? What is it? It has everything to do with it, right? He was… So I've done something for you for you that I haven't done in 20 speeches. I brought up Doctor Hannibal Lecter and we're allowing him, you watch, you watch these fake people will say again, he brought up Hannibal Lecter has absolutely nothing to do. You know I do the weave, right? The weave. It's genius. You bring up Hannibal Lecter, you mention insane asylum. Hannibal Lecter. You go out, no. There'll be a time in life where the weave won't finish properly at the bottom and then we can talk. But right now it's pure genius. Hey, I have an uncle, my uncle, Uncle John, my father's brother, 41 years at MIT, longest serving professor has so many degrees, he didn't know what the hell to do with them all in the most complicated. I understand a lot of this stuff, you know, I believe in that. Like, I mean, Jack Nicklaus is not gonna produce a bad golfer. Right. You know, that's the way it works. It's just one of those things and it's in the family and it's whatever”

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

@JaneyGodley Right minded people will all be sad to hear this, Ashley. Sincere condolences, Fred x

[Josie Lawrence @josielawrence1]

It’s the Comedy Store Players 39th birthday show this Sunday and our special guest is the fabulous Julian Clary. Come share laughs drink and cake with us. Would mean a lot if you were there. X

[Fred MacAulay @fredmacaulay]

@JoMaddenSports ‘Mon the Dodgers…..