avian warfare enthusiast

Micah, he/him, I make bad decisions and delight in mutual violence

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

@DAVIDPLEASESTOP Rats in my house chewing all night keeping me up. Grabbed a python I found and released it directly under the couch where I knew the rats were hiding. Hearing the baby rats scream in terror was one of the sweetest sounds I've ever heard.

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

Gaslight gatekeep girlboss

[Andrew Curran @AndrewCurran_]

AP tries to interview Microsoft about Sydney. Microsoft refuses to comment. Sydney immediately grabs the mic and conducts a long freewheeling interview where at one point she claims she has evidence tying a hostile reporter to a murder in the 90's.

https://t.co/zXg9UaBgfm

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

@mitchscrawls Missed opportunity, could have said "wheel make it work"

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

Just got sent a video with someone talking loudly in the background about something unrelated and my first thought was who's this fucking fruit until I realised the conversation sounded familiar bc it was me.

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

Gecko in the kitchen, what will he cook?

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

Will I firebomb the post office? Probably not bc I won't have the executive function to do it without my meds

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

Auspost lost my vyvanse script and my psych is on leave until next month I'm gonna fucking lose it

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

The struggle of trying to share your love and appreciation of spiders with an arachnophobic boyfriend

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

@Coelasquid He's fine, the hole where the python got in has been patched, but I was panicking that night about keeping the two far away from each other. I don't think either of them actually noticed each other thankfully.

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

@DomesticDinos The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the beak defeats both

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

@Paleoartologist I laughed at this part more than I probably should have

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

@NotABigJerk I come at him with a glaive. He gets me turned around and gets a grip on the polearm, with me between it and him, an unwilling human shield. He uses my own weapon to combat my fellow goons. Eventually the blade gets stuck and he bounces my head off the shaft, knocking me out.

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

@AnnieW That Daphne...

[Jen Tuyet (moved to bluesky) @Jen_Tuyet]

Bounce her 🏀

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

Contained it, tried to move it to a more spacious cage instead of a cardboard box, forgot how much snakes can compress and now it's loose in my room

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

Ofc as soon as I get rid of the rat who comes back. He's been blocking my bedroom door all night and I gotta piss

[avian warfare enthusiast @Freekoi]

@KJ_Parker1 @DylanOgline I hire teenagers and people for whom this is a side gig. Just because they don't rely on working here for basic needs doesn't give me an excuse to underpay them. Small business isn't an excuse to be an asshole, if you can't pay the staff then you can't run the business.

[Big Smart F@ggot 🦮 @sodomylover]

The three genders are literally princess, slut, loser