El Flamingo

Return of the Fresh

[Brian Kemm @BrianKemm]

In retrospect, it’s absolutely insane that the first gay couple I was *ever* aware of had to blur one of their faces to prevent him getting fired from his job.

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

I’ve yet to have someone send me 15 pics out of the blue on grindr that convinced me to do anything other than block them.

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

@BrianKemm I think we’re gonna keep this one for the shit I can’t say publicly.

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

Guess who just got access to his old account @BrianKemm ?

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

Shopping was a success! Thank you jebus for lists.

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

I'm going thanksgiving shopping drunk as a skunk. I've never felt more like a housewife in my 27 years.

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

What if the apocalypse happens, and all that survives is a copy of RuPaul's drag race?

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

I tried to throw the pasta against the wall. It didn't stick, it just fell behind the oven. Cooking is hard. I need another drink.

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

At @robdelaney's show at NYU, walking down the line to get in"I know you, you're funny, so are you, YOU'RE fucked up, you're cool, hottie!"

[Jay @pizzajaynow]

I'm tired of old ladies trying to cover up the scent of death with shitty perfumes.

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

@farleftcoast I've got gin and cookies, close enough.

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

Gone through a box of Chips ahoy and half a liter of gin in two days. I don't know if I should prepare myself for diabetes or alcoholism.

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

Most people contemplate what they're going to make for dinner on the ride home. I think about what I'll mix with my Gin tonight.

[Brian Kemm @BrianKemm]

"She used to be X-Tina. Now she's XXL-Tina." - @Fresh_Flamingo

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

They have Kombucha for sale at this stadium. Fucking NY. Love it

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

@brian505 I missed the election night part.

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

@brian505 did you drunk dial last night after our phone-a-palooza?

[Brian Kemm @BrianKemm]

FYI world, when I get married, the Best Man is going to be @Fresh_Flamingo.

[El Flamingo @Fresh_Flamingo]

Why is it that the facebook friend with the ugliest baby has the most pictures to share?

[yung mozzarella @iheartgunts]

A few of my favorite things:

1. Raindrops on roses
2. Whiskers on kittens
3. Bright copper kettles
4. Warm woolen mittens
5. Blow jobs