FriendZone2BoneZone

Pickup artist MegaBeast teaches you how to go from Friend Zone to Bone Zone! (by @joeberkowitz and @joshgondelman)

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

"I'm a sailor, and I lost my neg." <---- Dropkick Murphys band members do not have to work very hard to score on St. Patrick's Day

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

Women are all the same. Reluctant to have sex with me.

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

Shoutout to that Pitbull song "Give Me Everything Tonight" for making it cool to cite potentially not surviving the night when begging 4 sex

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

I asked someone from a drug task force if she put the "DTF" in DTF agent and now I'm in Guantanamo Bay send help please rt

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

Hitting on girls should feel low-stakes. Think of it as a video game, and the ability to go home & pleasure yourself after as "extra lives"

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

I have told so many flagrant lies today, local women feel as though they've already binge-watched House of Cards S2.

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

Buy a dozen roses. Give one to each lady who walks by. They'll know you're interested but won't feel too special.

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

Statistically, there will be more bad sex over the next 7 hours than at any other time in the calendar year. I like those odds.

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

Every day is Valentine's when your whole raison d'être is desperation. (You can tell a lady is desperate if she lets you say raison d'être.)

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

After a quick make-out sesh in the periodontist rinsing station, I don't wanna say girls with advanced gum disease are easy, but they ARE.

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

The key to negging a dental hygienist is enumerating the many reasons for your above-average breath expectations.

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

Ladies love a V-Day surprise, which is why I'm gonna post up in this periodontist's office to hit on dentally decadent babes. #MegaBeasts14

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

No chicks jumped on me at this Starbucks. They must not want to smell like a real man when they get home to their boyfriends. #MegaBeasts14

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

Gave my name at Starbucks as “The Man Of Your Dreams.” Guaranteed quickie once the line of drifters by the bathroom dies down. #MegaBeasts14

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

Yikes! It's amazing what a Jansport traveling at high velocity can do to the sciatica. Eh, college girls are too clingy anyway #MegaBeasts14

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

First stop: the university. Co-eds may be educated, but they cannot intuit that a palm-read by a stranger on a park bench is less than legit

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

How will this PUA hook up with 14 ladies today? I have the same 24 hours as Einstein had. Same attitude toward cousin-sex, too #MegaBeasts14

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

Just to be clear, I will also be stealing the use of these ladies' bodies. It's kind of a two-fer situation. #MegaBeasts14

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

What up, it’s ya boy MegaBeast. This Valentine’s Day I will steal the hearts of 14 lucky ladies, like a team of casino bandits #MegaBeasts14

[FriendZone2BoneZone @Friend2Bone]

When it comes to being a PUA, the rules are... there are no rules. Except for consent. That one's a biggie.