Fuck Jared

Comedy Medium, Writer, Computer Genius, Recreational Asshole. He/Him/Yours❤️ co-host of @redhotvideofun

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

Why do I need to donate to candidates running for office? They should use their own money to get likes just like everybody else.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

Can we all agree that if Elon musk had just held back, and did everything he did over the course of Trump’s administration instead of in a week it might have actually been funny?

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

I feel like a detective on Law and Order whenever I’m looking for my AirPods and all my clothes are like witnesses and possible suspects.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

This whole SNL 50 got me thinking I’m glad I’m not on the show because what if I was mid and never used to my full potential.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

If Aubrey Plaza couldn’t save him. What chance do any of us have?

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

You ever open up People You May Know and see hot chick after hot chick and they’re all mutual friends with the same guy and that guy is Jeffrey Epstein.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

Whole time I’ve been misspelling seafood as C food cause I thought the C was short for cunt since I always see women eating that kind of food. Never put two and two together that it was sea as in the Ocean.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

@streetfighthood Came here to beat my meat and saw this and now it’s gone 😅

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

I learned the facts of life from watching the facts of life 🤦‍♂️😩

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

This poor sack of shit

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

To me, having fuck you money is being able to send compliments that are not actually compliments on Bumble.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

I feel like it’s time our nation got back with our ex and I got back with the girl I was dating during his presidential term.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

Andrew Tate should take over Kill Tony and give those incels some real direction.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

#skatetwitter do your thing

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

If you’re applying for jobs through LinkedIn and Indeed you might want to hold off until after the election so you don’t get spam texts begging campaign donations from ghost jobs.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

I hope when the King of the Hill reboot drops I did more improv shows than Bobby Hill 🤞

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

I wonder if SNL will do a sketch about dating a white dude you don’t like until after the election has been decided.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

I just swiped left on a woman solely because she works in HR. We brothers gotta band together to ensure these types of women never get dick again.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

Listening to mainstream music when you’re depressed like Coldplay or Mr. Brightside. You have every right to be sad (for lack of taste) and better off ending it.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

Really hope one day Elon Musk gets with Sydney Sweeney so he can show guys like me that anything is possible.

[Fuck Jared @FUCK_Jaredd]

Just texted work. can’t make it in today I’m overcuming a porn addiction.