FukMyDad

Because everyone needs to give their Dad the finger sometimes.

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: I don't "get" twitter. Me: I know you don't dickwad. Otherwise I'd be scared you'd see this.

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: Who is this "Lady Gaga?" Me: Don't worry about it Dad. We don't want to damage any more of your delicate brain cells.

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: Why do you spend so much of your free time in the bathroom? Me: IDK why do you spend so much of your free time in Thailand?

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: Going to be a little late picking you up. Me: Ok Dad, give it a few. Let your BAC level come down before getting on that freeway.

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: Dinner's ready! Me: Really? I just opened a window because I thought you were burning mom's shoe collection.

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: Life used to be simpler. Me: So there was a time when the world wasn't ruled by megalomaniac self-appointed zealots? Pray tell.

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: You're going to school dressed like that? Me: Sorry. I don't feel as I owe a man with a Handlebar Moustache an explanation.

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: How come it takes comments so long to appear on the website? Me: To make sure no one writes anything like "Fuck Jews!"

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: Wake up. It's time for school. Me: Go away. I'm dreaming of a world where my soul isn't regulated to conform to capitalism's avarice.

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: I need your help shoveling the driveway. Me: Why? Can't your 2009 Jeep Patriot w/ its 4x4 Freedom Drive II handle 3 inches of snow?

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: Kids today have no respect. Me: You're telling me, that kindergartner that lives across the street just told me to suck a fat one!

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: There's a 80% chance it'll snow tonight. Me: Cool. I bet there's a 100% chance you'll be drunk by then.

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: You should make your biology report more original. Me: Right! I'll sprinkle it with pictures of you after last year's Superbowl party.

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: Where is your sister? Me: I don't know why don't you try asking her main assistant?

[FukMyDad @FukMyDad]

Dad: Why is your room such a wreck? Me: To make sure that you never promise one of our mongoloid relatives that they can sleep in here.