Claire C

Kerry Gold fan account

[Claire C @fullyclarified]

In this time of self reflection and (theoretically) improvement, I’ve decided I’m no longer recognizing substandard butter brands (anything besides Kerry or Dairy Gold).

From here on out we will be calling them “spreads” instead.

[Dave Jorgenson @davejorgenson]

Do you guys ever think about the electoral college?

[JP @jpbrammer]

so sorry for my delay in getting back with you! I have been beset by calamities

[Hollie🇾🇪 @hollieh0llie]

never ask a woman her age, her weight, or how much she paid for taylor swift- the eras tour tickets

[kelly @BoyYeetsWorld]

i think watching barbie will change my brain chemistry permanently. maybe that will finally fix me

[trevy @chillextremist]

You’re 1 Diet Coke away from a breakthrough

[, @w0a0i0f]

guys when they’re with their buddies: i need a beer and cheesy fries if you take me to a “wine bar” with “microgreens” and “small plates” i will implode

guys when they’re with their gf: baby, the tuna tataki is sooo good…!!! and what’s on top? watermelon radish? incredible .

[antifa🔻girlfriend @lllliatttt]

do retvrn to office freaks know that when you work from home you can have a slice of warm buttered toast whenever you want? do they know that you can have a slice of warm buttered toast maybe even with jam and you can eat it on the couch while it’s still warm

[alanna okun @alanna]

not drinking has had many side effects, almost all positive, but what i could never have predicted was the degree to which my lemonade consumption would skyrocket

[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

man i just do not know how to act around warm bread

[J @Jimbo00o]

do you ever close a kitchen drawer with your hip and just think about how you're a single mom who works two jobs and loves her kids and never stops?

[Lukas Battle @lukasbattle]

Our founding fathers wrote the constitution not knowing $23 salads would exist

[Claire C @fullyclarified]

PB on saltine crackers is a delicacy.

[mar 🫶🏼 @itsmariannnna]

don’t mean to sound like a sickly victorian woman riddled with consumption but i do feel like a little trip to the seaside would fix me

[jo @my_old_scarf]

"karma's a relaaaaxing thought" i sing as i bounce my leg and sweat profusely from anxiety every day

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

I’m a hater first and a feminist second

[trash jones @jzux]

“we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it” ok but i’m gonna worry about the bridge now

[MORGAN @morgancrawf]

I love saying ‘I fell asleep’ during the day when actually I did purposely lay down on my bed with a teddy and a blanket and closed my eyes blissfully. Oopsie! An honest mistake that anyone could make