Heather Clemons

Mom. Yoga teacher. Perpetually basking in the beauty of the universe.

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

@meribah @yarbro Wow. We lived in Murfreesboro for 7 years & my husband student-taught in Rutherford County in 2008-2009 - it drove him out of education. He told me many times that the schools themselves felt like prisons. I can’t wait to listen to this podcast.

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

@hormiga My mom wrote shorthand fluently and used it to take notes in many book margins, notebooks, etc. I’d love to learn how to read it, but you’re right, it was complicated then, and today just seems insane.

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

@jackmjenkins Peace On Earth - The National Parks
Seconding Bells on Christmas Day - The Civil Wars
This Year - Caroline Pennell, Aaron Espe
Not indie but, Sara Bareilles - Winter Song

P.S. thanks for this thread! Expanding my playlist too!

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

@Jeopardamy Mine is also from 30 Rock, except it’s Liz Lemon’s jingle about Cheesy Blasters

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Slappy.
Slappy who?
*sings an entire song with only the word ‘slappy’*

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

We have officially entered our nonsensical knock-knock joke era of parenting. Family time now consists of constant jokes that we have to laugh at, or they are repeated over and over until we “get it.”

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

Example:
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Sunglasses.
Sunglasses who?
Sunglasses driving a car!

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

@AuburnFootball Super jet lagged. Worth it 👌🏻

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

@AuburnFootball We are in Amsterdam, Netherlands cheering for the tigers! WDE 🧡🦅💙

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

@dylanlscott Putting in another vote for Harry Styles 🗳

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

@VexAmanita I will take all the suggestions!

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

That’s it, I’ll just start buying men’s marketed bath products because who said women don’t wanna smell like cedar, moss, and sage?! I like that 1000x better than smelling like coconut and vanilla.

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

I don’t want to smell like mango and strawberry, I want to EAT those. I want to smell like MYSTERY and an OLD LIBRARY.

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

Hell, I’ll probably save money anyway because of the ridiculous #pinktax on everything marketed to women.

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

parenting is 99% sitting down and immediately getting back up

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

@HeyitsThorny LOAF OF BREAD 🍞 - we love that movie!

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

@HeyitsThorny Like, yesterday I called Jigglypuff “Pinky Pie” and both my son and my daughter at that point went “YOU JUST WAIT A DAMN MINUTE MOTHER”

[Heather Clemons @Funambulist]

@HeyitsThorny Don’t worry, later it switches to Pokémon. And then it gets fun because then you can make up alternate names for all of them and watch your kid slowly explode.