SpongeBob

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

I wish I had parents like Dora. They let that bitch go everywhere.

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

SpongeBob: "Hey Patrick, are you angry too?" Patrick: "Yeah!" SpongeBob: "What's the matter?" Patrick: "I can't see my forehead!"

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

Unsolved Mystery: Mr. Krabs + ? = Pearl the Whale.

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

D.R.A.M.A. = Dumb Retards Asking for More Attention.

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

Shine bright like a bacon.

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

Spongebob: "Can you hear me?" Patrick: "No, it's too dark."

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

Fuck love, give me food.

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everybody wants to date them.

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

7 minutes of extra sleep in the morning seriously does matter.

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

The awkward moment when you’re waiting for a text but then you realize you’re the one who didn’t reply.

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

"You tweet too much." Bitch, you breathe too much.

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

Every time I go to a family gathering: "So, do you have a boyfriend yet?" No.

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

I wish school started at like... never.

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

PRINGLES: The only chip company in the world that doesn't sell air.

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

Attractive person: Hi. Me: Is this some kind of sick joke?

[SpongeBob @FunnyInstagram]

Bitch please, my gum lasts longer than your relationships hoe.