Fun With Thunberg...Not 🚫

Deadpan Climate Change Eco-Comedy From The Mistress Of Mirth..............(Not Representative Of Any Person Living Or Dead) Parody

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As the ice caps melt and the sea levels rise, I’d sit by the river and stare into your eyes.

Our lips would touch and I’d be in heaven, as we both watched our poo float down the Severn.

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According to Wikipedia, whales play a crucial role in the fragile ocean ecosystem.

[cetacean needed]

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To block the M25 using nonviolent civil resistance to stop the government committing crimes against humanity.

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Why can’t you play cards in the jungle?

Because around 81,000 hectares (200,000 acres) of rainforest are cut down every day, and If the current rate of deforestation continues, it will take less than 100 years to completely destroy.

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Three men in the shower. One bends over to pick up the soap and says.

“Antibacterial soap can impair muscle function, disrupts hormones, contributes to the rise of antibiotic-resistant bacteria and is isn’t any more effective than regular soap.”

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What did the cow say to the other cow?
Just one of us produces up to 200kg of methane a year, and because humans eat alot of beef and drink so much milk there are an awful lot of us in the world, and our farting causes a sizable contribution to the worlds greenhouse gas emissions

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Could Mr Methane power a generation? https://t.co/pCB3iRyKG0 via @YouTube

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Usually only one, hopefully it’s an LED bulb which are 80% more efficient than traditional lighting such as fluorescent and incandescent lights. 95% of the energy in LEDs is converted into light and only 5% is wasted as heat.

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#TurnABandVegan
Soy Division

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Knock knock .
Who's there?
China.
China who?
China the worlds largest emitter of carbon and is expected to be responsible for effectively all the increase in global CO2 emissions in 2020, with a rise of 0.26GtCO2 – larger than the global total increase of 0.24GtCO2.

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Why doesn't a vacuum cleaner suck?

Because on 1 September 2017, the European Union ruled the maximum wattage for any vacuum cleaner manufactured or sold in the EU be reduced from 1,600w to 900w.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, and the barman says.
"Its estimated that there are between 437 million and 8.3 billion plastic straws on the world’s beaches and shores causing the premature deaths of wildlife who mistake them for food"

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What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? 

Refrigerators can be extremely harmful to the environment. Many refrigerants, such as chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) degrade the ozone and act as greenhouse gases causing global warming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To live in an overcrowded shed, forced to grow 65 times faster than its body normally would, be shackled and dragged upside down, fully conscious through electrified water before having its head pulled tight and its neck slashed.

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My dog has no nose.

How does he smell?

He doesn't, his olfactory receptors were burned off by acid rain containing elevated levels of hydrogen ions.