Future1stWorldProbs

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

After 6 hours and 2 Hobbit movies I can't believe Bilbo still isn't out of the fucking Shire. #futurefirstworldproblems #thehobbit

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

The world didn't end and now I have only 4 days to do all my Xmas shopping. Fucking Mayans. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

@Future1stWorld: Old people never shut up about how good they had it "before the zombies came". #FutureFirstWorldProblems #zombies

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

My jerky brother installed an overthinking app in my iBrain and now I can't decide what to have for breakfast. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

When my genetically modified dog farts it smells like pepperoni. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

I lost my life savings investing in frictionless personal lubricant. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

My dickhead brother knows nothing about securing a kayak to the roof of an aircar. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

So frustrating! If I don't enter the black hole at just the right angle I end up back at my uncle's farm in 1993. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

The Internet ran out of memes. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

Mars Netflix sucks. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

The absolute worst thing about my roommate is he doesn't empty & clean my Pleazure-Bot after borrowing it. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

Dumbass crew went & got themselves killed & now I have to take care of the cat all the way to Mars. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

So bummed I can't get the day off to go back in time with my friends & make crop circles. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Nolan 🚀👉❤ :/ ⛄! @sneakin]

Walmart only pays employees store-credit. #futurefirstworldproblems /cc @Future1stWorld

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

Aw man! I totally prepped for the wrong apocalypse. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

My jerky brother set the doors in my house to open a half-second too late & close a half-second too early. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

I shouldn't have brought a blacklight onto the spaceship. There's DNA everywhere! #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

Somewhere between my apartment's transporter booth & the university's I've acquired a vagina. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

Grandpa tricked me into getting a brain transplant. Now I'm in a glass jar and he's taking my body to Vegas. #futurefirstworldproblems

[Future1stWorldProbs @Future1stWorld]

Just found out my roommates are secretly a team of crime-fighting superheroes. #futurefirstworldproblems