Father Knows Best

I'm the REAL American Dad

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

Send the young negro jester #KanyeWest to Samuel Adams. He'll laugh heartily at his banter and pay him well! What good sport !!!!!

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

Hilarious! I love a pickaninny buffoon. More. More. Never enough laughs from a good negro fool. Well done #KanyeWest ! Dance more for me.

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

#ABC2020 should have done the feature on why Rutgers would pay the basketball coach $650K ? How much are the Math and Science teachers paid?

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

Did I hear that she blew 341 ???? Where do I get in line to be 342 ? #abc2020

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

My men had no shoes and a loaf of bread to split 40 ways. And you fat fucks are terrified to go 24 hrs without 5 meals because of a storm!?

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

No worries that my monument tilted in the quake. Every good erection is at a slight angle.

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

Martha used to bitch about splinters all the time...if you know what I'm sayin'.

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

@PimpBillClinton Hey Pimp Bill, you're so hot??? So then where are all the "Clinton Slept Here" landmarks ?? I was the shit !

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

@PJL10 Nah. I borrowed that dollar. Threw a rock. Then I bought a bottle of nice single malt scotch with the coin the jack ass gave me.

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

My pic looks like a mushroom? That's right. What else looks like a mushroom ladies ???...if you know what I mean.

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

@lorjack At Valley Forge we froze our asses off...well ....they froze. I was shacked up with a local farmer's daughter. Toasty!!

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

@lorjack You just don't what "morning wood" really is until you have a set of false teeth like mine.

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

@lorjack We used to call Tommy Jefferson, Sonny Red. It drove him fuckin' nuts. What a pisser.

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

You seen the signs? "Washington slept here" ? That's right kids. I was a mutha fuckin' P.I.M.P. !

[Father Knows Best @GA_Washington]

Stand up guy?! I took the rap for that tree when it was Sam Adams. I knew he was really onto something with that cherry wheat brew.