garf

[garf @Garoot8]

I still think abt this every day

[garf @Garoot8]

Like a hawk to a flame

[garf @Garoot8]

Can’t have security cameras in my house cuz they’d always be detecting motion

[garf @Garoot8]

Saying ‘watch this drive’ before doing something that’s a big risk makes you 95% more likely to succeed confirmed

[garf @Garoot8]

Life update: i hate it please make it stop

[garf @Garoot8]

I ain’t even a sports guy but @DetroitPistons how tf you lose 21 times is a row 😭😭😭

[garf @Garoot8]

The new exorcist movie has way too many sexual undertones and themes set around two children there’s no way the director is not a pedophile

[garf @Garoot8]

Everyone complaining about big tobacco but I wouldn’t mind an oversized cigarette

[garf @Garoot8]

One must imagine Sisyphus in northern Kentucky, working at a steakhouse, no money, no bitches, 3 friends, can’t get out of bed most days

[garf @Garoot8]

Can we all admit having a podcast doesn’t mean you’re important or even remotely relevant in the online world?

[garf @Garoot8]

‼️‼️‼️ANNOUNCEMENT‼️‼️
I am sleepy

[garf @Garoot8]

People really hold too much sentimental value over twitter

[garf @Garoot8]

I can’t stop saying the word ‘coat’ in my head till it doesn’t sound like a real word anymore

[garf @Garoot8]

Girl best friends: let’s post a TikTok omg hehe
Guy best friends: should we mug a homeless guy on the way home?

[taking my plushies to the end of the world party @2femcel2furious]

first date idea

[jesse @jesseeestr]

i would like a lobotomy!!☝🏼🙂

[garf @Garoot8]

Call me lesbian cuz I keep the strap on

[garf @Garoot8]

There isn’t one single bone in my body that can tolerate Catholics for more than like an hour and a half

[garf @Garoot8]

She’s crazy? Good thing my middle name is ‘Escitalopram’

[garf @Garoot8]

People really are fucken stupid like Jesus