Fartsmella not smart fella

[Vivian @suchnerve]

customers.

[Saxorus @saxorus]

God I wish there was a movie with just porn acting but no sex cause this is one of the funniest scenes of all time

[Dr Helen Ingram @drhingram]

I don’t want to panic anyone in Bristol but

[karina˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ @karina_core]

i want to smell so much like vanilla that people ask me if i use vanilla extract as my perfume

[MAStermind 💿🚒 @samisntokay]

My lettuce in the salad spinner

[Doctor Tom @neosovietposter]

every single other person who is driving their car at the same time as me is a fucking animal who should be shot

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

BEING CALLED SENSITIVE FOR REACTING TO DISRESPECT IS MANIPULATION AT
ITS FINEST.

[֞ @KnightOomf]

GUYS THIS ISNT A SUICIDE ATTEMPT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️THIS IS LITERALLY ABO UT ME SHITTING NONSTOP BEFORE I FAINTED

[Groby @groby5000000]

Leg sweeping my son when he asks for uppies. Its a tough world bozo

[wrotator @wrotator]

British people on vacation in Spain:

[daisey @iammrsevil]

They added WHO to the game??

[Skelbton the “Wizard” @skelbthree]

“Hey did you hear ab-“

No. I didn’t.

[Fartsmella not smart fella @GenSecIsMe]

What in the fucking twitter

[うんにゃこら/unnyakora @unnya_korakora]

😴