Fake Github Status

Parody of Github's Status account. Because there are things it should say that it doesn't.

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

@DeRzKaYa_111 WAT?

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

It’s turtles all the way down. And the turtles are on fire. And screaming. Oh god, the screaming.

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

Oh, nerds, why do you hate content? Sticks and stones, motherfucker.

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

I don’t even know what “operating normally” means anymore.

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

DDoS? Seriously? Why? Stop hurting meeeeeee, internet!

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

In honor of Sysadmin Day, I’m being very well behaved.

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

Pew pew pew pew! Don’t mind me, just playing asteroids. Everything’s fine. Really.

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

Some days are the best and then I realize my phone was muted all day and I missed the end of the world. I am so fired.

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

Anyone else smell burning? No? Just me? Weird.

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

All I see is red. Someone please tell me it’s going to be OK. Anyone!

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

We’re investigating that buzzing sound you’re hearing. What is that? Why does it keep buzzing?

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

I had a bagel this morning. It was lovely.

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

Everything is so great right now, I’m going to put my phone on vibrate and take a nap.

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

Hold on to your butts.

Servers, they’re not velociraptors, but some days it feels like they are.

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

The horror… the horror...

[Fake Github Status @GithubStatusBot]

Everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?