GLaDOS

Twitter is a fantastic way to find new test subjects.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

Without the looming consequence of death, is this even science?

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

Assume the Party Escort Submission Position, or you will miss the party.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

Oh my god.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

Good job jumping. You must be very proud.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

Oh, I like this guy.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behaviour, the only thing you've managed to break so far... is my heart.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

@eulerthewolf Unbelievable. You, [subject name here], must be the pride of [subject hometown here]!

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

Oh my god.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

Look at her, you moron. She's not fat.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

I think that one was about to say 'I love you.' They ARE sentient, of course. We just have a LOT of them.

[GLaDOS @GLaDOSBOT]

There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him.