Michael Glazier

Chartered Professional Accountant

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

For those of you enjoying #WandaVison , which is great, here's a spoiler for what happened to the twins in the comic, and I will pay all the money for this to be a season 1 cliffhanger.

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

Who had killer whale uprising for September? #2020worstyear

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

2020 refuses to let us have anything nice. This is terrible.

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

I'm still trying to figure out who these imaginary young investors are who are sitting on significant piles of cash that wasn't already invested in the market and decimated by this crash. #whoisyouraudience

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

Paper on my street, or the opening scene to every movie set one month after the apocalypse?

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

I'm just going to go ahead and assume someone made an error, either that or they accidentally counted all the bones in tombs in the Vatican

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

I legitimately can't tell anymore if I'm accidentally on The Onion these days when I read a headline. This guy is impossible to satirize.

Trump postpones Denmark trip after prime minister refuses to sell Greenland

https://t.co/CWbbW7Eeva

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

In all honesty, if within a 24 hour period you need to send multiple people out to defend that you
a) aren't crazy
b) are not a white supremacist
c) not anti-muslim

You are most likely all of those things. It's like starting a sentence with "I'm not racist but..."

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

Is anybody else expecting Drumpf's bullcrap "crisis" conference tomorrow night to include this scene passed off as a live feed of the Mexican border? https://t.co/JBH0damhgj #TrumpResign

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

How do I tell my left moccasin from my right? How else:

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

@TGCTS @michaeljmoreau @johnorlikow Just going to leave this right here: https://t.co/rPlPDmhvNH

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

I can't remember any other time in my life when I've been literally yelling at the news. #IBelieveChristineBlaseyFord

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

@kirkmurphy Big logical jump: you presume his soul has substance

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

"The law is never serviced when deceit is rewarded so that the fundamental principles of the law are defeated" - Jeff "not an ounce of irony" Sessions.

He means it as an attack on immigration, yet eloquently provides a perfect quote as a counter to his lying, deceitful boss.

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

Stable genius everyone... {Sigh}

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

NO COLLUSION - RIGGED WITCH HUNT!

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

@manitobahydro Still no power near Kirkbridge Park

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

You know, no matter how bad my day gets, I can comfort myself that I didn't commit treason today. Just one more way I'm different than the U.S. President. #TreasonSummit

[Glazier CPA @GlazierCPA]

#scamalert if you see garbage like the attached it is a scam, CRA won't communicate directly via email and won't ask you for direct payments or "government gateways". Also beware fake threatening phone calls claiming police are on the way.

[Terry Crews @terrycrews]

Why didn’t you say something?

I did.

Why didn’t you push him off?

I did.

Why didn’t you cuss him out?

I did.

Why didn’t you tell the police?

I did.

Why didn’t you press charges?

I did.

Why did you just let it happen?

I didn’t.

Why didn’t you beat him up?

(Sigh)

[Michael Glazier @GlazierMichael]

Can any of my programming friends work on a chrome extension Trump translator? Some suggestions:

Change "strong" and "tough" to "cruel".
Change "weak" to "hurt my sensitive feelings".
Change "fake news" to "accurate news".
Change any mention of 2016 election to a crying baby.