Sammy Glicker

A writer and doer of specific and nonspecific sorts.

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

I'm finally ready to talk about what happened yesterday. I remarked on how spicy my potato chip was, then I looked at the flavor: salt.

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

@netflix I’ve picked out my queue of Originals and I could really use a meatless pizza! 😬🍕🤤#netflixhotline

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

I'm not sure what I need to roll for success, but I rolled a clean 18. Gimme whatcha got, DM @travismcelroy #thezonecast

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

This Sunday, Improv for a good cause! And no one has to sit front row!

[SHEISHOPELA @sheishopela]

The Second Annual SHE IS HOPE LA FUNdraiser & Silent Auction is only one week away - Sunday, 11/15 from 5-9pm! We will have these fabulous ladies entertaining everyone with Improv for adults around 6pm! ⁦@Glickity⁩ ⁦
⁦@GraceHarryman⁩ ⁦@CLHimprov⁩

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

WOW! (that hella good improv team I'm in) is thrilled to be performing for such a great cause Nov 15!

[SHEISHOPELA @sheishopela]

SIHLA Fundraiser 11/15
⁦@mkennedycomedy⁩ ⁦@groptimum⁩ ⁦@RoDelleGrazie⁩ ⁦@ashleighlou8910⁩ ⁦@Vigilofwarband⁩ ⁦@spellingit⁩ ⁦@unsilencevoices⁩ ⁦@MirageThrams⁩ ⁦@BrendanWeinhold⁩ ⁦⁦@joymamey⁩ ⁦⁦@Glickity⁩

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

@nerdologyshow fuck yeah, tennis! Who's next? I'm gonna beat your ass on the court.

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

@hqtrivia Glicker

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

#FathersDay ads for tools are basically Mother's Day ads for cooking aprons and vacuums cleaners.

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

It's curious that pepperoni is our #1 pizza topper, yet on any other foods we're like, 'naw I'll pass on that pepperoni omelet.'

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

I think pun pick up lines are attractive to lots of women because if you can dad joke, you can dad.

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

Nothing can make you think you forgot how to sit like a chairlift can.

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

Sad phrase to overhear: "You should write that down." "I don't need to." I hate feeling a dream being crushed before it happens.

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

Someone (no one) asked me, Sammy, why wear a complicated romper to a night of heavy drinking? Because life's lessons are never over.

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

If I can scoop a litter box without touching my eye to adjust an extremely dry contact lens, I can do anything.

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

I've never felt "old" until a friend of a friend earnestly referred to the second Goofy movie. Why would she do this to me?

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

I worry about your sandwich shop when I walk in and you ask, "how can I help you?" We should all know why I'm here.

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

Have you ever left a bar because your glasses were too dirty to see with their fog machine on?

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

Clutch https://t.co/4Lsbf4fiKg

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

In my annual Thanksgiving Day nap, not only could I play the violin, I could play the Jurrassic Park theme song on it. #Thankful

[Sammy Glicker @Glickity]

Went to Austin and traveled the world. #choosepleasure wouldn't have been the hashtag I chose for that but #dovesweeps gets what it wants.