π€ THE FIN-SUB RANKING TIER π€
Time to face reality, simps. Here is how you actually rank in my eyes. Find your tier and pay accordinglyπ
1οΈβ£ The "All Talk, No Tribute" Sub
Rating: βββββ
The Vibe: Slides into DMs with "Hey Goddess " but disappears the second the payment link gets sent.
Verdict: A waste of oxygen. Blocked and forgotten.
2οΈβ£ The "Budget-Conscious" Piggy
Rating: βββββ
The Vibe: Sends a Β£5 tribute and thinks he owns my afternoon. Claims heβs broke.
Verdict: Pay more or stay silent. Brokie.
3οΈβ£ The Steady Coffee Sub
Rating: βββββ
The Vibe: Reliable. Sends a Β£15-Β£30 tribute every single morning without being asked to fund my caffeine addiction.
Verdict: Cute. You can stay.
4οΈβ£ The Silent Drainer
Rating: βββββ
The Vibe: Doesn't speak. Doesn't complain. Just drops Β£100+ mid-day notifications out of nowhere because he knows his place is to provide.
Verdict: Highly approved. Your submission speaks louder than words ever could.
5οΈβ£ The Black Card ATM
Rating: βββββ
The Vibe: Lives to clear my Throne wishlist, pays my bills on the 1st of the month and sends big tributes just for the privilege of being ignored.
Verdict: The only type truly worthy of the title "Subβ. Chefs kiss.