I *just* updated from Twitter to x so that I could properly complain about @AmazonKindle not releasing CC3 (HOSAF) preorders at midnight - that is how pressed I am. Do you know how long I had held out.
The algorithms are too accurate (read: scary) and since I tweeted this I’ve seen like 3 tiktoks about pay pigs. Was everyone just aware that men will pay you to be mean to them? And I’ve been doing it on dating apps for free????????
A woman, with full sincerity, just asked to double check my age because she thought I might be under 18. I’m 30. Get a tretinoin prescription friends. It’ll change your life, or at least help rewind the clock.
This is the third time I’ve tweeted this because the first two both had typos and apparently I’m equally committed to embarrassing myself on the internet as I am to embarrassing myself in front of my pets
I always thought I’d learn to twerk once I lived alone because it’d be less embarrassing but it turns out there’s no look more judgmentmental than the one your pets give you when they’re see you trying to shake your ass
@r8dermatt1123@IntelPointAlert@FoxNews Sir, disrespectfully, this was not even remotely funny enough to have tweeted it as many times as you have (at least 4 before I got sick of scrolling). Get a life, a better sense of humor, and maybe some morals.
I just offered someone at the dog park what I thought was a poop bag that I had in my pocket. What else would be crinkling in there?
A fruit roll up wrapper. It was a fruit roll up wrapper.
This might be an unpopular opinion, but if your child is too big to be held and too young to understand how to behave around dogs (ie not running) then you have no business taking them to a dog park. Even then, taking your kids to a dog park puts everyone at risk.